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Tuesday, August 23, 2005 + 7th month of vandals, stowaways and linedancers + 7th month, i just don't get it... not wanting to offend any socio-religious groups... but the logic behind the concept has more holes than a butterfly net. Supposedly we gotta burn hell money, paper cars and even paper houses to alleviate the suffering of the dead. assumption 1: the dead receive our gifts of money/paper cars/planes/deodorant How will a paper car be of use to anyone?! let alone the dead! even toilet paper has a higher purpose than a friggin paper car. How do the dead spend money? is there an economy or stock exchange in Hell? what happened to people in Hell before hell money was invented? sell backside? ooo... thats probably why its called Hell. assumption 2: everything we burn miraculously restores itself to original form in hell cars, planes houses, money after charred to carbon, pops up in Hell. Sounds almost cartoonic. If that were the case... Hell would receive millions of tons of burnt garbage, vegetation, calories, and ex-girlfren/boyfren photos a day. ooo... thats probably why its called Hell. assumption 3: the gates of Hell open for a month Somehow, Hell gets a better deal than most prisons on Earth. What kinda jail lets the inmates loose on a yearly basis?! Then the demons gotta go thru the whole hallabaloo of finding back billions of damned souls, year in year out. assumption 4: the dead eat food dedicated to them this is really weird, after the food is "given" to the dead... everyone can makan. Thats like Santa Claus taking all the presents back after they've been opened. Trust the Chinese, the same people who invented printing and gunpowder, to think up this crock'o'shit. And we wonder why the kids are becoming more and more westernized. Thank God i don't have relatives who would pressurize me to accept this nonsense. Recently i've left my bicycle out overnight in the neighbourhood twice in two weeks. This is nothing outside my usual habits to trust the locals. But unfortunately, they've let me done for once. Week 1: i find my bike with a punctured tyre, missing handlegrip and broken bell. Fucking assholes. i hope they get mauled by rabid dugongs. Death without diginity. Imagine the funeral where everyone is trying to suppress shrieks of laughter. Week 2 was just plain weird. Week 2: i park my bike near the bicycle shop to get repairs done next day, seeing as it was closed on Sunday. Monday i find a black wristband on my bike which reads "wisdom". HUH??? If someone is havin a laugh, its a sick sense of humor. I kept the wristband at any rate... Strangers in the night... a foreign entity happened to be onboard the family car when we drove off. I've heard of engines purring and growling, but ours started mewwing! Sensing that even the worst engine problems don't cause such weird sounds, we popped the hood at our destination. There was a cute little black kitten in the engine compartment! Luckily it was only a ten-minute journey. I wouldn't like the thought of our car cooking a cat. It just occured to me that linedancers are in fact Neo-nazis in training. No other group i know would willingly subject themselves to such dumbass antics in unison. Harmless uncles n aunties gettin a workout? noooo.... underground goose-stepping Neo-nazi fanatics re-enacting the Nuremburg Rallies. Even the music played sounds horribly similar. Nazis, i believe they're definitely Nazis. Then again i also believe that all chihuahuas are demonspawn and the embodiment of all evil. They are, by the way. Cheers! Have a great 7th month! raises wine glass ian wong beats around the bush@ 11:46 PM Comments: Post a Comment

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

+ 7th month of vandals, stowaways and linedancers +

7th month, i just don't get it... not wanting to offend any socio-religious groups... but the logic behind the concept has more holes than a butterfly net. Supposedly we gotta burn hell money, paper cars and even paper houses to alleviate the suffering of the dead.

assumption 1: the dead receive our gifts of money/paper cars/planes/deodorant
How will a paper car be of use to anyone?! let alone the dead! even toilet paper has a higher purpose than a friggin paper car. How do the dead spend money? is there an economy or stock exchange in Hell? what happened to people in Hell before hell money was invented? sell backside? ooo... thats probably why its called Hell.

assumption 2: everything we burn miraculously restores itself to original form in hell
cars, planes houses, money after charred to carbon, pops up in Hell. Sounds almost cartoonic. If that were the case... Hell would receive millions of tons of burnt garbage, vegetation, calories, and ex-girlfren/boyfren photos a day. ooo... thats probably why its called Hell.

assumption 3: the gates of Hell open for a month
Somehow, Hell gets a better deal than most prisons on Earth. What kinda jail lets the inmates loose on a yearly basis?! Then the demons gotta go thru the whole hallabaloo of finding back billions of damned souls, year in year out.

assumption 4: the dead eat food dedicated to them
this is really weird, after the food is "given" to the dead... everyone can makan. Thats like Santa Claus taking all the presents back after they've been opened.

Trust the Chinese, the same people who invented printing and gunpowder, to think up this crock'o'shit. And we wonder why the kids are becoming more and more westernized. Thank God i don't have relatives who would pressurize me to accept this nonsense.

Recently i've left my bicycle out overnight in the neighbourhood twice in two weeks. This is nothing outside my usual habits to trust the locals. But unfortunately, they've let me done for once.
Week 1: i find my bike with a punctured tyre, missing handlegrip and broken bell. Fucking assholes. i hope they get mauled by rabid dugongs. Death without diginity. Imagine the funeral where everyone is trying to suppress shrieks of laughter. Week 2 was just plain weird.
Week 2: i park my bike near the bicycle shop to get repairs done next day, seeing as it was closed on Sunday. Monday i find a black wristband on my bike which reads "wisdom". HUH??? If someone is havin a laugh, its a sick sense of humor. I kept the wristband at any rate...

Strangers in the night... a foreign entity happened to be onboard the family car when we drove off. I've heard of engines purring and growling, but ours started mewwing! Sensing that even the worst engine problems don't cause such weird sounds, we popped the hood at our destination. There was a cute little black kitten in the engine compartment! Luckily it was only a ten-minute journey. I wouldn't like the thought of our car cooking a cat.

It just occured to me that linedancers are in fact Neo-nazis in training. No other group i know would willingly subject themselves to such dumbass antics in unison. Harmless uncles n aunties gettin a workout? noooo.... underground goose-stepping Neo-nazi fanatics re-enacting the Nuremburg Rallies. Even the music played sounds horribly similar. Nazis, i believe they're definitely Nazis. Then again i also believe that all chihuahuas are demonspawn and the embodiment of all evil. They are, by the way.

Cheers! Have a great 7th month! *raises wine glass*

ian wong beats around the bush@ 11:46 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

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