__BEACH BUM__"The heart of a man is like deep water..." -Proverbs 20:5

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Wednesday, February 28, 2007 + Look Mom! No hands! + Wakka wakka!.... im suddenly back to bloggin again. It's raining outside and my room in hall is pissin cold. what's my age again? problem with being born in dec is that everyone else seems older than you. im 23... wait, 22... err... 23 this year. Hall production finished about 3 weeks back. Once again i have time to hear myself think. Sometimes i wish my head had nicer things to say. Youth in church think im ancient. Am i ancient? i do reminese over the pre-Synthesis days, or the Nissi days, which was pretty much geological ages ago. (Nissi was the church youth movement up till abt 2001-02.) Well, i think foldly of those times for a reason. During my teenage years i walked smack into the the dissolution of Nissi... Nissi was great for a reason. We loved people. We loved new faces. We wanted to hear your story. We wanted to see you smile. We loved people we never even friggin met before. We spent afternoons givin out tracks at MRT stations. We could even love assholes. How did it all end? i guess among other things, it was all taken for granted. i walked outta NS into a new battlefield. I rallied with the survivors of the fall of Nissi. We formed the YEC. We fought for a new dream, the Synthesis, and the youth service. It was 2005. i've been fighting since 2005. I walked outta those damn green barbed wire fences with big dreams, not just for church, big personal dreams too. Fighting... no one can ever fault me for not trying. Crikey, im tired. Come 2007, Synthesis is here. Youth service is inevitable. Heck, even some of the Nissi gang are back in the bilingual service. But we ain't there yet! can we love the way Nissi loved? The fight is not over... its time for new blood to go out and show what it means to be Christian. How long must the post-20 year olds do the Peter Pan thing? Church life, personal life, haiz... too interlinked to do seperate posts. Bah! i don't fit in... i never intended to, didn't anyone notice? Almost 2 years since i left NS. These 2 years i've seen the greatest successes and the most spectacular failures ever. Interestingly enough, i feel my greatest achievements were on stage. Storm in a Fishbowl - Synthesis production. It's Your Choice - KR Hall production. Greatest failures? My 3 month foray into network marketing, finishing my 3rd sem at a worrying CAP of 3.27, and overall, not feeling like a success story. i had hoped a blog post in 2007 would go something like... " ian, established 2006". Nope. Not established. If i walked out of those grubby NS gates, and i had a crystal ball lookin at me in 2007, whoa... i'd be sad. Sad because i'd see myself still fighting personal battles. I dunno... have i won? Where am i? Am I any closer to God's plan? Are my expectations too high? After all i've done, did i bring meaning to people's lives? Who sees me for what i truly am? who can i really be honest to? who loves me back? Jesus loves me this i know. Someday i'll understand, someday i'll know the answers. Jesus da boss says its not yet time... not yet time to understand. Ahh... KR production, fond memories indeed. Late nights, sickies, encouragement, sudden outbursts of insanity... and reliance on God to pull us thru. I wish i was a kid again. Back when the little things made me happy. Back when i thought that i could do anything as long as i put my mind to it. Look Mom! No Hands! im still at it. Faced between doing something and doing nothing, i'd prefer to err on the side of doing something. Defeats have bruised me, bloodied my nose, shook my belief in myself. But i just gotta be me. Enough about the past already!!!!! SHUT UP!!! I'M... STILL... STANDING!!! Next stop: -Dramafest inter-hall production: Colours -Gen12 Parable Project with Campus Crusade. evangelism via video-making. Cheers anyone? i REALLY need a refill. waves an empty glass ian wong beats around the bush@ 11:41 PM (0) comments

Posts

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

+ Look Mom! No hands! +

Wakka wakka!.... im suddenly back to bloggin again. It's raining outside and my room in hall is pissin cold. what's my age again? problem with being born in dec is that everyone else seems older than you. im 23... wait, 22... err... 23 this year. Hall production finished about 3 weeks back. Once again i have time to hear myself think. Sometimes i wish my head had nicer things to say.

Youth in church think im ancient. Am i ancient? i do reminese over the pre-Synthesis days, or the Nissi days, which was pretty much geological ages ago. (Nissi was the church youth movement up till abt 2001-02.)

Well, i think foldly of those times for a reason. During my teenage years i walked smack into the the dissolution of Nissi... Nissi was great for a reason. We loved people. We loved new faces. We wanted to hear your story. We wanted to see you smile. We loved people we never even friggin met before. We spent afternoons givin out tracks at MRT stations. We could even love assholes. How did it all end? i guess among other things, it was all taken for granted.

i walked outta NS into a new battlefield. I rallied with the survivors of the fall of Nissi. We formed the YEC. We fought for a new dream, the Synthesis, and the youth service. It was 2005. i've been fighting since 2005. I walked outta those damn green barbed wire fences with big dreams, not just for church, big personal dreams too. Fighting... no one can ever fault me for not trying. Crikey, im tired.

Come 2007, Synthesis is here. Youth service is inevitable. Heck, even some of the Nissi gang are back in the bilingual service. But we ain't there yet! can we love the way Nissi loved? The fight is not over... its time for new blood to go out and show what it means to be Christian. How long must the post-20 year olds do the Peter Pan thing? Church life, personal life, haiz... too interlinked to do seperate posts.

Bah! i don't fit in... i never intended to, didn't anyone notice?

Almost 2 years since i left NS. These 2 years i've seen the greatest successes and the most spectacular failures ever. Interestingly enough, i feel my greatest achievements were on stage. Storm in a Fishbowl - Synthesis production. It's Your Choice - KR Hall production. Greatest failures? My 3 month foray into network marketing, finishing my 3rd sem at a worrying CAP of 3.27, and overall, not feeling like a success story.

i had hoped a blog post in 2007 would go something like... " ian, established 2006". Nope. Not established. If i walked out of those grubby NS gates, and i had a crystal ball lookin at me in 2007, whoa... i'd be sad. Sad because i'd see myself still fighting personal battles.

I dunno... have i won? Where am i? Am I any closer to God's plan? Are my expectations too high? After all i've done, did i bring meaning to people's lives? Who sees me for what i truly am? who can i really be honest to? who loves me back?

Jesus loves me this i know. Someday i'll understand, someday i'll know the answers. Jesus da boss says its not yet time... not yet time to understand.

Ahh... KR production, fond memories indeed. Late nights, sickies, encouragement, sudden outbursts of insanity... and reliance on God to pull us thru.

I wish i was a kid again. Back when the little things made me happy. Back when i thought that i could do anything as long as i put my mind to it.

Look Mom! No Hands! im still at it. Faced between doing something and doing nothing, i'd prefer to err on the side of doing something. Defeats have bruised me, bloodied my nose, shook my belief in myself. But i just gotta be me.

Enough about the past already!!!!! SHUT UP!!! I'M... STILL... STANDING!!!

Next stop:
-Dramafest inter-hall production: Colours
-Gen12 Parable Project with Campus Crusade. evangelism via video-making.

Cheers anyone? i REALLY need a refill. *waves an empty glass*

ian wong beats around the bush@ 11:41 PM (0) comments

What we do in life, echoes in eternity