__BEACH BUM__"The heart of a man is like deep water..." -Proverbs 20:5

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007 + 180 degrees + how the fuck did all this happen? i didnt sign up for the "turn-my-life-into-a-fucking-sitcom" scheme. now the outcome is gonna be soooo fucking predictable.... barely 2 days... and im gonna reverse my position and run back to her. Fucking embarrassing. Yet fucking predictable. I thought it was over. I even changed the blog music to commemorate the event. 1 conversation later, now everything is different. Brain definitely advises i get away while the going's good. But here i am left feeling grateful that i wasn't hasty. I hadn't publicized my feelings about ending everything yet. God i love her. she doesn't love me back much. Who knows if she ever will? in a nutshell. facts on the ground remain. no guarantees. I could be setting myself up for an even bigger fall. I am stupid. There is so much more to my life than this. yet here i am. I believe we have guardian angels. They watch over us to protect us. Right now mine must be wondering how crazy these humans are. And I always thought of myself as a rational thinker. yet when i think of how much she means to me... perhaps i can take being made a clown just this once. I've always been an entertainer. will everything be different? how long can ian persevere b4 the fire is spent? i'll decide tml. Friendship is the most important denominator. "no matter what happens, we'll still be friends"............raises wine glass P.S. if you are unfortunately left clueless as to what or who i'm talking about, well... take heart in knowing you are not alone. you must understand how the mish mash of details is really fucking embarrassing, and i've been bloggin to let off steam rather than to invite people to turn my love life into a fucking gossip column. ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:40 AM Comments: Post a Comment

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

+ 180 degrees +

how the fuck did all this happen? i didnt sign up for the "turn-my-life-into-a-fucking-sitcom" scheme.
now the outcome is gonna be soooo fucking predictable....

barely 2 days... and im gonna reverse my position and run back to her. Fucking embarrassing. Yet fucking predictable.

I thought it was over. I even changed the blog music to commemorate the event.

1 conversation later, now everything is different. Brain definitely advises i get away while the going's good. But here i am left feeling grateful that i wasn't hasty. I hadn't publicized my feelings about ending everything yet.

God i love her. she doesn't love me back much. Who knows if she ever will? in a nutshell. facts on the ground remain. no guarantees. I could be setting myself up for an even bigger fall. I am stupid. There is so much more to my life than this. yet here i am.

I believe we have guardian angels. They watch over us to protect us. Right now mine must be wondering how crazy these humans are. And I always thought of myself as a rational thinker. yet when i think of how much she means to me... perhaps i can take being made a clown just this once. I've always been an entertainer.

will everything be different? how long can ian persevere b4 the fire is spent?
i'll decide tml.

Friendship is the most important denominator.

"no matter what happens, we'll still be friends"............*raises wine glass*

P.S. if you are unfortunately left clueless as to what or who i'm talking about, well... take heart in knowing you are not alone. you must understand how the mish mash of details is really fucking embarrassing, and i've been bloggin to let off steam rather than to invite people to turn my love life into a fucking gossip column.

ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:40 AM

Comments: Post a Comment

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