What we do in life, echoes in eternity

the difference between Mediacorp and Lucasfilms

2008-07-31T23:57:00.005+08:00

Mediacorp is like... super fast lor! I got my written test tml liao!

... so does my competitor by the way.

i shall destroy

cheers *raises wine glass*

current fav song: "America" by Razorlight

Job Hunt

2008-07-30T21:24:00.003+08:00

Today's interview with Mediacorp was really cool, i think it went even better than the Lucasfilm interview. The wielders of the force still haven't gotten back to me yet. *pouts*

So if i pass this round, i'll have a writing test with Mediacorp next. Bring it. Writing impromptu is almost as exciting as acting impromptu, but if i secure this screen writing gig, i get graduate pay. Acting will give me an awe-inspiring 6bucks an hour. But hey, since its tons of fun doing both, i wonder if they'll let me try both at once... hmmm...

I haven't given up on the force just yet... i just wish they weren't so tardy.

I just wanna find something secure to latch on to. These past few days have been so crazy i think whatever happens now will change the course of my life.

God, u are driving funny but i trust you anyway.

On a side note, i chatted with my job competitor and apparently she's done honours. How to fight?! will my experience be enuf to see me thru? But it'll be damn cool if we both get in lor!

cheers! *raises wine glass*

wow, i realise i havent done a good cheers in awhile

On a separate note... i need a break from this world

2008-07-28T09:39:00.005+08:00

lucasfilm update: no word on if i'm getting the second interview yet. I'll wait till Wednesday. Then I shall forget it. I thank God that in the whole of Singapore, i'm among the few who got shortlisted for the first round, how many can attest to that? heee...

Either way, backup plan ain't too bad either, applied for a vacant script-writing post with mediacorp... still waiting on that one too

On a seperate note...

Filming of "The Assignment" by TPP alumni peeps is over, well, at least my contribution is over. Can't wait for it to come out on dvd.

On a seperate note...

I watched Dark Knight twice and i'm still not sick of it. Maniacally impressive for a PG13.

On a seperate note...

I wanted to see the world. I expanded my horizons. I went out to meet people and hear their stories.
Something happened yeah, and now it occurs to me, the more people i meet, the more people disappoint me. Suddenly i feel very much alone in a world that is quite literally getting fucked upside down.
I'm frankly tired of the pubs and the clubs and whatever fuckshit made promises to happiness in this world. I'm going home, going back to church. So long and good night.

When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. —Deuteronomy 18:9

I try to do the right thing. Is there no one left who tries that anymore? Intergrity is.. just.. so.. difficult...

Bruce Wayne: what would you have me do?
Alfred: endure

can't stop tryin. mustn't stop trying.

you know, sometimes we find certain songs great because we can infuse them with our own meanings.

now i sing this song, and i sing it to God.

Chris Daughtry - Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

this week of madness brings...

2008-07-13T22:12:00.005+08:00

Thursday: Graduation

Friday: Film shoot

Saturday: Film shoot

Sunday: attend a friend's wedding

Mon-tues: film editing with Marilvyn. (God help us all)

Wed: Job interview with Lucasfilm

who says the unemployed just bum around?

THE CALL CAME AFTER A MONTH

2008-07-10T01:18:00.001+08:00

LUCASFILM REPLIED TODAY AND I HAVE JOB INTERVIEW THIS COMING WED!

THANK GOD!!!

a long time ago, was it really that long?

2008-07-08T11:56:00.004+08:00

location scouting later today

damn, why did i wake up thinking of you.. again? Some wounds just never fucking heal. in one more month it'll be 1 year's anniversary (or thereabouts) of you walking into my life. and the verdict is still unsettled over whether that cameo built me up or torn me down.

timing was next to perfect. I had just emerged from the first parable project with a new sense of purpose in my life. I had just been appointed Director for Hall Production 07/08. I was feeling invincible. and then you happened.

i wonder why i pour myself into film making, cos art imitates life? cos every pretense ends with the roll of the credits? cos each journey of conception to creation with a group of friends is extremely rewarding? cos this work brings me joy... and doesn't betray me?

God, i know you're driving, can we not venture so close to the cliff's edge like that? I'm not invincible.

I am, however, invigorated at the prospect of a new film...

Unfold

2008-07-02T12:30:00.004+08:00

hi blog, im here once again to escape the perennial drudgery of writing groveling cover letters and resumes.

considering i'm still unemployed, things still worked out for the best, cos i got the chance to work on 2 short films... buckets of fun, and perhaps heightening my chances of breaking and entering the industry.

As i've probably explained before, these films are meant to provoke people into deeper insights about life. At the same time, i take some guilty pleasure in imagining these films helping me advance a career. I guess the same applies to playing guitar in church, we do it for God, but hell, do we ever get such a kick from it. That doesn't make it evil.

Our sacrifice is small and our burden light, nothing compares to the sacrifice which Christ paid for our freedom. Thank God for our abundant skies.

I finished script writing for "The Assignment" the day before yesterday

cheers *raises wine glass*

Today's Daily Bread is damn cool la...

2008-06-28T01:57:00.000+08:00

The word amateur has been redefined over the years and has lost the luster of its original meaning. The English word comes from the Latin word amore, which means “to love.” An amateur is someone who does something simply for the love of it.

In today’s way of thinking, receiving payment moves you into a “higher” category—that of a professional. The reasoning is that if someone is willing to pay for your service, you must be really good. An amateur, therefore, is considered to have less skill or talent.

As I read my Bible, however, I see a different hierarchy of values. During the time of Jesus, the religious professionals were using their position to gain power and prestige for themselves, not to serve the people. Jesus didn’t choose those who were wise, mighty, or noble by human standards (1 Cor. 1:26). He sought those willing to follow Him and be trained for loving service.

In today’s world, the scene is much the same. God is still looking for “amateurs,” those who will serve the Lord for the sheer love of it. Compelled by our love for Jesus, may we, like the disciples and apostles before us, proclaim the love of God for the world by following Christ’s example of loving and serving others.
-Julie Ackerman

The love of Christ compels us. —2 Corinthians 5:14

Euro 2008 rant

2008-06-26T17:52:00.003+08:00

how could anyone seriously believe Turkey would beat Germany?

Germany is the team that kills dreamers. Reveals the pretenders for the pond-scum they truly are. remember World Cup 2002? when S.korea went on a giant-killing spree, pulling down italy and spain in their wake? i bet 90% of asia was cheering for S.korea back then. not me, not this descendant of a Chinese merchant. feelings of nationality should count for nothing if you're picking winners, or worse, picking a team to bet on... the koreans were hailed as the inheritors of total football, a style made God-like by the Dutch teams of the 70's. Sorry, nil, nada, read the script, koreans were just riding on luck, and it took Germany to pound some sense back into them, and into the rest of us Asians who forget that football is a science more than an art.

World Cup 2006? Germany beat the mighty performers, Argentina. Slaughtered the samba.

fast forward to Euro 2008. Christiano Ronaldo's Portugal were grabbing all the head-lines, where are they now my little frens? u nimble, u quick, u dazzle, u still need to beat Germany if u wanna be a winner. referee's decisions are final, no point discussing "what ifs" in my opinion. They say Ferreira was shoved by Ballack for the goal. Shoved? He was OWNED! have u never played soccer in your friggin LIFE? shoving is part and parcel of the game! no one wants soccer to turn into some pussy sport...

Germany may not be the best team in the world, but traditionally, i count on them to separate the real contenders from the pretenders. Turkey = free frag by my standards. Its not over till its over. fouls, dives, rants, extra time, penalties, do whatever it takes on the pitch to win. if u don't, then u don't want it enuf, do u?

...and people ask me why i love Chelsea...

peace, rest in. *raises wine glass*

wheels are in motion!

2008-06-26T17:40:00.002+08:00

nothing makes my day like new inspiration for a film

the last time inspiration hit me at 12am, it kept me awake brainstorming till 4am.

great tidings we bring, for you and your kin, the Parable Project alumni shall reunite once again to make great entertainment! BY OUR POWERS COMBINED.....

I promise less avant garde stuff this time.

WATCH THIS SPACE! *raises wine glass*

Here and back again

2008-06-26T01:01:00.005+08:00

random spoutings alert.

its late and im pissed and in no mood to sound coherent.

im suddenly a strong advocate of the phrase: work brings freedom.
work makes u feel useful and a contributing member of society.
work distracts u from bad memories.
work keeps the body and mind from atrophy.
i wish i had a stable job.
God, teach me to be patient for i am on the verge of... ok fine, i don't know what im on the verge of doing... and that just makes me feel worse

God, help me separate the shit which i should and should not take responsibility for. I don't habitually throw up my hands and say "it was fate/destiny", or "not my fault". I scheme and I scheme and I plan and i strategize and i adapt and i anticipate. When things screw up, maybe i should just learn to blame things/people other than myself. tryin to see shitty memories in the right perspective reduces the shitty-ness level, but it still doesn't turn shit into gold.

So im back in East Coast, and its great that i have frens here, really appreciate them. I need help re-adjusting to this life. Damn, i miss hall life. recent Marche with the hall peeps was a blast. Suppers with the East Side peeps are killer fun too. But yeah, im still re-adjusting. Its not as if im surrounded above and below anymore. Its so damn quiet here.

God, pride is the biggest enemy of prayer. I should know, I have too much of it.

Fuck, my Commencement in on July 10. so what commences?

God, are u reading this? by the way, i also hate to let down my friends. i fucked up. i gave my word without confirming i could keep it. Stupidstupidstupid

Retracing the foot prints

2008-06-13T18:46:00.006+08:00

So i've finished university. i've accomplished my parents great expectations (which weren't tooo difficult really). All the jazz, the pizazz, the celebrations and drunken revelry is over, and the introspection begins. I guess i spent a good part of uni in quarter life crisis. Seriously. Trying to negotiate the fine line between who i was and what i wanted to be. Perhaps some major aspects have crystallized in stunning clarity, but there do remain some muddy gray areas i've yet to deal with.

I've been plagued/blessed with a big ego. It has been my tool. My war horse. Taking me places and heights i never dreamt possible in my younger years. Yet at the same time it caused me much grief. When ego seized control, too often i cared too much about what others thought of me and forgot aspects of who i was in the process.

My next few posts merely aid me in retracing my steps... an oblique attempt to see my future by going back to my past. To aid me in stamping chops of "success", "failure" and "work-in-progress" on the recent chapters of my life.

age 1-6: grew up in an English-educated Christian family. So much so that both my grandfathers spoke to me in English. Paternal grand-daddy was an Anglophile. Maternal grand-daddy was a player. Parents scolded me for picking up Singlish in primary 1. So i learnt to alternate between Singlish in school and Queen's English at home. No brain capacity left for Chinese. So apparently... I grew up in weird circumstances? Grew up thinking that Chinese speakers were weird. Now i know they are the actually the majority of Singaporean society.... But i still think they're weird. heh. Paternal grand-daddy had a big garden. It was the ultimate playground, but not the safest, for it frequently hosted a great habitat for spiders, lizards and snakes. There he taught me to appreciate nature, even unto the smallest bugs. Still have memories of him showing me a cobra he had killed for wandering into the house. Apparently it could have killed me, cos of i was too young to care, i just found it sooo cool that he let me touch it.

If i had to attach a theme song for this section of my life it'll be:

"Boy in a Rock and Roll Band" - The Pierces

How deep is your ocean?
How high is your sky?
I'd love to put our love into motion
But I'd have to ask myself why

Well, I can't tell ya how to live your life
But I know how to live mine
I take home pretty things that I like
And baby, you are so fine
Yeah, I could give you everything you need
With just one touch of my hand
But I swore I would never fall in love
With a boy in a rock & roll band

Why do I adore you?
We've only just met…
I feel I would do anything for you
But baby, sometimes I forget

That I can't tell ya how to live your life
But I know how to live mine
I take home pretty things that I like
And baby, you are so fine
Yeah, I could give you everything you need
With just one touch of my hand
But I swore I would never fall in love
With a boy in a rock & roll band

Well, I forget I'm a lady
I've had too much wine
I'd love it if you would call me your baby
Cause baby, you are so fine

ok this aint the original video but it was the easiest to find and access.

current fav song

2008-05-28T01:58:00.001+08:00

four to the floor - starsailor

holiday/unemployment

2008-05-28T00:38:00.002+08:00

drifting in limbo right now

kinda feeling that the next decisions i make these few weeks will determine my life, at least for a couple of years.

i'd like to say i ain't afraid

oh well, the chips are on the table. and God is in control.

had some good times catchin up with frens and family and folks in hospital. Feelin unfit. i resolve to go joggin at the beach tml. It feels so strange. I want to move. I want to do, act, be... suddenly i need to wait. I feel out of place. even here i have nothing to say. Recently i think i've only been tidying up the corners of my life. here where i suddenly have the time and space to hear myself think, nothing occurs to me. i feel anti-social, but i don't want to be. Its a time i just want to sit n listen to you, yeah u... u reading this now... don't look around, u know im talkin to you... cos im feeling im running out of things to say for myself.

RESULTS WILL BE OUT THIS WEEK! *cough* invite me out for drinks now *cough*

I'm starting to work on my personal project, a feature-length movie which i hope to direct someday. Even tho it sounds like a long-term plan, in reality the current motivation is that i just need to keep myself buzzing to prevent the cobwebs from building up.

gettin comfort from songs by Jars of Clay

Art in Me

Images on the sidewalk speak of dreams decent
Washed away by storms to graves of cynical lament
Dirty canvases to call my own
Protest limericks carved by the old pay phone

In your picture book Im trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, see the art in me

Broken stained-glass windows, the fragments ramble on
Tales of broken souls, an eternitys been won
As critics scorn the thoughts and works of mortal man
My eyes are drawn to you in awe once again

In your picture book Im trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, see the art in me

milkshake

2008-05-14T01:21:00.002+08:00

damn i realize after being away for a month that all recent posts make me look like some emo kid... time to inject some randomness...

Original:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
and they’re like, “It’s better than yours”
Damn right, it’s better than yours
I could teach you, but I’d have to charge

Old English:
Mine milkshake bringeth all yon gentlefolk to mine yard
and lo they reply ” ‘Tis better than thine…
“Verily, ’tis better than thine!”
I could apprentice thee, but I wouldst levy a fee

Literal:
My whipped iced dairy drink brings the attentions of many males to my place of residence and/or employment,
and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours.
Absolutely, it far surpasses yours.
I could convey to you the proverbial recipe, but I would have to demand compensation.

Limerick:
Through stereophonic tubes
Comes a girl rapping mixes and grooves
and though you would think
Her topic was iced drink
It’s really all about her boobs

Haiku:
Boys, drawn to my yard
Their words in chorus singing
Your milkshake loses

movin out of KR day

2008-05-13T01:00:00.003+08:00

room A414 is now empty.

i pray that goodbyes aren't forever.

had hoped to pass this day without emoing, but after the sweat is past and the bags are packed and the car is in full gear speeding along back home... cant help but remember every face i saw today.

sigh.

morose

2008-03-31T10:39:00.002+08:00

hang on folks, this is gonna get random

im not one to get mood swings. i alternate between having introvert and extrovert tendencies. i can hole myself up in my room the whole day, then burst out at night in a fit of crazy public antics.

im stressed out, juggling school work and hall stuff. I'm preparing for Command 2008. The final hall event where graduating seniors put up a good-bye show. the funny part is: im under no obligation to do anything other than the minimum... but i went ahead to sign up for 3 performances. heh. i just haaad to end things with a bang. at the same time im sad to leave. so many mixed feelings preparing for my departure. all the while... im pouring whatever remaining juice i have left into GEK2020: Intro to Film Art. I sooo want an "A" for this module. when actually i can S/U this module. well what did u expect? i wanna be a director! I got "A" for Intro to Theatre Studies... and that was while i was still under the stress of doing hall production!

do i kill myself or what?
right about now i'm not the easiest person to love, aren't i?

God gave me this great dream of becoming a director or screen writer. i really appreciate it. it gives me something to focus my wild energies around. sometimes i wonder what took Him so long. i feel i've been wandering in circles for years. had it been a waste of time? im gg to graduate soon. with a degree in history. this is highly unorthodox. are there directors with degrees in history? i'm even considering another degree from Tisch now. my time in NUS has been great, but will it be enough to carry the dream? in my impatience i sometimes feel disappointed with God. but it becomes more apparent to that the process of preparing me was going to be painfully slow.

i had to be heartbroken... to translate loss
i had to take history... to witness the irrational things people do, even as nations
i had to hear stories of pain... to understand drama doesn't happen to "other ppl" we don't see
i had to learn acting "just for fun"... because if it weren't fun, i wldn't have done that much

so am i ready for the media industry now? i sure hope so... only time will tell

cheers? i need a re-fill *gestures to empty glass*

Traveller

2008-03-26T14:34:00.000+08:00

Hey people,

This is a very touching story, go read it! Hope it blesses you as well! :)

I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day.

As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, 'I will work for food.' My heart sank.

I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief.

We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways. I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car.

Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: 'Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square.'

Then with some hesitancy, I headed back into town. As I turned the square's third corner, I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store front church, going through his sack.

I stopped and looked; feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on. The empty parking space on the co rner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitati! on to pa rk. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor.

'Looking for the pastor?' I asked.

'Not really,' he replied, 'just resting.'

'Have you eaten today?'

'Oh, I ate something early this morning.'

' Would you like to have lunch with me?'

'Do you have some work I could do for you?'

'No work,' I replied. 'I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch.'

'Sure,' he replied with a smile.

As he began to gather his things, I asked some surface questions. Where you headed?'

' St. Louis .'

'Where you from?'

&nbs p; 'Oh, all over; mostly Florida .'

'How long you been walking?'

'Fourteen years,' came the reply.

I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier. His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, 'Jesus is The Never Ending Story.'

Then Daniel's story began to unfold. He had seen rough times early in life. He'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona. He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment A concert, he thought.

&nbs p; He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in t! hose ser vices he saw life more clearly. He gave his life over to God

'Nothing's been the same since,' he said, 'I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some 14 years now.'

' Ever think of stopping?' I asked.

'Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me But God has given me this calling. I give out Bibles That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads.'

I sat amazed My homeless friend was not homeless. He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: 'What's it like?'

'What?'

'To walk into a town carrying all y our things on your back and to show your sign?'

'Oh, it was humiliating at first. People would stare and make comments. Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it became humbling to realize that God was using me to touch lives and change people's concepts of other folks like me.'

My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, 'Come Ye blessed of my Father and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in.'

I felt as if we were on holy ground. 'Could you use another Bible?' I asked.

He said he preferred a certain translation. It traveled well and was not too heavy. It was als o his personal favorite. 'I've read through it 14 times,' he said.

'I'm not sure we've got one of th! ose, but let's stop by our church and see' I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful.

'Where are you headed from here?' I asked.

'Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon.'

'Are you hoping to hire on there for awhile?'

'No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next.'

He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission. I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things .

'Would you sign my autograph book?' he asked. 'I like to keep messages from folks I meet.'

I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, 'I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope.'

'T hanks, man,' he said. 'I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you.'

'I know,' I said, 'I love you, too.' 'The Lord is good!'

'Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?' I asked.

'A long tim e,' he replied

And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, 'See you in ! the New Jerusalem.'

'I'll be there!' was my reply.

He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bedroll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, 'When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?'

'You bet,' I shouted back, 'God bless.'

'God bless.' And that was the last I saw of him.

Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brak e, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle. I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them.

Then I remembered his words: 'If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?'

Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend and to pray for his ministry. 'See you in the New Jerusalem,' he said. Yes, Daniel, I know I will...

If this story touched you, forward it to a friend!

'I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.'

Prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another. God bless and have a nice day!

"'Father, I ask you to bless my friends, relatives and e-mail buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask you to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through your grace, In Jesus' precious Name Amen .'

GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!

post production blooooze

2008-03-20T23:25:00.003+08:00

Feels good to be free again. Command filming is almost over. Just finished another assignment. Then it strikes me again, the feeling i'm doing nothing. Yep, missing the fun, sweat, tears of rehearsals. The fight to create wonders on stage. Now the fight is over, and i await my next challenge.

I take a drive and roll down the windows. Feelin the wind in my face. This carefree world will end soon. I'll have to work soon. (and.... find a job first ya) But for now, i'm free to savour the simple pleasures of post-production cam-whoring. I felt sooo proud taking that blow in front of the crowd of over 1400. those kinda cheezy moments you wish could last forever. but yep, i had done my best, and God gave me such a prize in happiness i could never had imagined.

Pics from the aftermath of my big directorial debut.

Annabelle (asst director), Esther (actress), Alice (asst. director)

vivien, shi min, xiao hui, fong chi... A-block CG peeps forever

Li Chin. almost as big a joker as i am.

Joseph. resident big man who's a warm fuzzy emo bear at heart

view from the control room end during rehearsals

Yi Shyan. Soon-to-be SIA girl! Congrads all around! Buy me a drink ya?

Aileen and Du Yao. Untiring wardrobe specialists. Hall prod fashionistas.

Suffian. Not even in hall anyone but still helped us in a big way. truly a lover of the arts, loyal alumini of the hall.

Final shot of my flowers before they die. Yes its a tiny haul, but seriously, i'm a guy. Flowers are wasted on me. buy me something that lasts longer, like booze. hahaah!

finally getting my social life back. Got to meet up with Heidi last saturday and watched 10,000bc. Wasn't the best of movies, but with company like this, i've got all the entertainment i need. hahha!

One day i'll jam with a band again... and we'll spend all our break time eating ice cream.

life is good and i feel like dancing! Take my hand baby!

*raises wine glass*

one spot of grime

2008-03-15T12:14:00.005+08:00

Dear blog...

14th mar 2008 marks a strange day where much interesting shit happened. Caught up a rare lunch with 5hyan and helped her with some history essay stuff. i watched one of the most awesome movies of all time, Juno, which scores a M-M-MONSTER KILL based on screenplay alone. I watched the NUS Dramafest. Its an event close to my heart because I helped produce the first inaugural Dramafest last year, and its waaay cool to see how my baby is maturing. They even got UCC theatre this year. We only had pissin LY13 last year. Oh well, everybody has to start somewhere. Topped things off with sheares supper with some other graduatin peeps.

But none of the above makes it strange. Those merely contributed to the illusion that my day would be perfect. Marcus accompanied me for the movie and dramafest, and we discussed our plans for the future. This type of serious conversation inevitably goes back to our past. I was just sayin how i was happy with my KR life (with graduation looming 'round, its kinda like before u die, how u sum up your life). Thats my verdict. I had done all i wished to do. Helped orientation, played guitar, wrote songs, wrote news, acted, produced and directed. Made a big name for myself. Kept all disagreements professional. Wasn't bogged down by politics or vendettas. Marcus points out that i owe him a meal for helpin me get into KR. No problem. I do owe him.

Lets get down to the beef. Mar 14 also marks the night one of my friends is revealed to be a psycho-bitch. I am shocked mainly because i had never before really really got tangled up with a psycho-bitch. Thus I never expected to. How naive. I'd at least expect myself to spot a psycho-bitch early on. Naive me again. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Thats not naive, thats just being realistically sociable. Whateva the case, it ruined a perfectly good evening. Kudos u psycho-bitch, you've hidden that part of yourself from everyone (just a guess) except me. My final offering of reconciliation was thrown back. Fine then, i shall leave on this note.

Many who leave hall life talk of its slimy under-belly. So now i've got a spot of grime too. Its not Hall's fault. Every human institution has its own share of shit.

ok i've tried to keep my language civil yet ambiguous. So i shall convey the rest of my feelings thru the medium of JPEG visual art.

*raises wine glass*

My life in song part 1.

2008-03-12T23:34:00.005+08:00

you know how some phases in your life are instantly remembered because they are so accurately summed up in a certain song?

yup, here i'll attempt to put my whole life in a musical nutshell

age 1-6: grew up in an English-educated Christian family. So much so that both my grandfathers spoke to me in English. Paternal grand-daddy was an Anglophile. Maternal grand-daddy was a player. Parents scolded me for picking up Singlish in primary 1. So i learnt to alternate between Singlish in school and Queen's English at home. No brain capacity left for Chinese. So apparently... I grew up in weird circumstances? Grew up thinking that Chinese speakers were weird. Now i know they are the actually the majority of Singaporean society.... But i still think they're weird. heh.

So i'm weird? I've only recently reconciled with myself that normalcy is overrated.

song: "Boy in a Rock and Roll Band" - The Pierces

...and the curtains closed

2008-03-12T23:03:00.002+08:00

So... its finally over. It was... how would you put it? A resounding success? Seeing happy faces. Seeing old familiar faces. Knowing i have entertained. Hearing the applause, the reviews, and the criticism... God, how i love productions.

As a director, getting feedback from the audience rocks my socks. there were so many different responses from people, all moved by our performance, all taking back something personal to think about.

Only one thing beats audience responses. The great friendships forged in the production process. Some of us, joined for the love of the arts. Some for the "production experience" you've heard so much about. Whatever the reason we started with, in the end, we group of merry men and women earned not a cent from this, but forged on because we would not let down our fellow friends.

Its so touching to see how we've all progressed both as frens and artists. I was an ensemble member before, and i know how exhilerating the whole experience is. In my first big foray as a stage director, it seemed like an insurmountable task at first. I thank God for providing a great team who could pull off a show, more wonderful than my own year's experience as a hall prod actor. I knew i had to rely on people to dazzle, when last year we could rely on our 2-storey set, this year, it had to be the performers.

There were frens who've seen me perpetually deep in thought about production... complaining about production... making up for lack of sleep due to production. Despite all this they offered support, prayers and understanding.

All my peeps inside and out of hall made my directing experience something beautiful. BIG THANKS one and all!

cheers! *raises wine glass*

There's no business like show business

2008-03-04T17:30:00.005+08:00

http://ridgeonline.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/i-left-my-heart-at-outram-park/

The Ridge, NUSSU magazine
we've hit the headlines before the show hit the road!
Normally, NUS performances are only reviewed after the show... wheee! more publicity!
Bring on the reviews!

cheers! *raises wine glass*

Fern and Bamboo

2008-03-03T00:24:00.002+08:00

plucked this post off 5hyan's blog. wholesale plagiarism. so sue me.

-------------------------------------------------
One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...
I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked,
"Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said.

"Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water."

"The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo."

"In the second year,
the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo." He said.

"In year three there was STILL nothing from the bamboo seed.
BUT I would not quit.

In year four, AGAIN, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
I would not quit." He said.

"Then in the fifth year
a tiny sprout emerged from the earth."

Compared to the fern,
it was seemingly small and insignificant..
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations
a challenge it could not handle."

He asked me,
"Did you know, my child,
that all this time you have been struggling,
you have actually been growing roots?".

"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others,"He said.
"The bamboo had a different PURPOSE than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that
God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.

For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!
-----------------------------------------------------

1 week left

2008-02-29T21:25:00.003+08:00

THE RIDGE magazine and JCRC hall committee came down to watch the preview and they were .... *gasp*.... visibly impressed!! this is soo encouraging!

oh and i made sure THE RIDGE spelt my name right... we can't be too careful, can we?

Kent Ridge Hall Production 07/08

2008-02-27T15:28:00.007+08:00

When the efficient machine of Singapore’s urban life grinds to an unexpected halt,
the faceless strangers on the train come to terms with each their respective problems... and each other!

This is a tongue-in-cheek, distinctly local musical that is close to heart and home. It tells the story of three very different lives, and their timely intersection through the sudden breakdown of the train. A spanner may have been thrown into the works, but this disruption is just what they need to untangle the more serious knots in their lives. These three people share their struggles, and realising that sometimes strangers are just unmet friends, they embark on a journey of trust and friendship.

The characters in the play come from all walks of life—a cross-section of Singapore society as we know it. The three main characters are a reflection of the sheer variety of people that make up rojak Singapore: the exuberant and talented Francine Tang plays with great gusto the character Molly—a brash, lovable aunty with a colourful getai past and a mysterious, painful secret.

Aptly, teaching scholar Kenny Sng reprises the role of Richard, a straight-laced teacher who, despite his best intentions, ends up in really hot soup. Joining the fray is seasoned stage performer Kimberly Ng, who displays her acting chops as Jessica, the driven career woman torn between the two men in her life, and forced to make a tough choice for true happiness. Expect sizzling and dynamic chemistry as very different personalities and opinions come to the fore, and sparks fly over the same issue viewed from very different angles.

In a real-life reflection of this multiplicity and variety, I Left my Heart at Outram Park is a collective effort that involves all strata of Kent Ridge Hall residents. Notably, Swiss exchange student Reda Rebib stands out among the cast and ensemble due to his fair, chiseled features and tall build. A first-time actor, he plays the role of Marcus, a charming Casanova who contends for Jessica’s affections. When asked why he would be willing to sacrifice time and energy for intensive rehearsals despite his relatively short stay in Singapore, he said that the musical caught his attention for its highly local unpretentious feel, and that he enjoys the atmosphere and the energy in preparing for such a production.

The musical is a purely original production, from the script down to the songs and dance choreography. Being able to create this production from scratch also enabled a breakaway from stock subject matter and even staging styles. The musical comes across as playful and almost irreverent towards the usual conventions, adopting an eclectic mix of styles for maximum impact. Especially since a large part of it takes place in the realms of the characters’ minds, almost anything (and we mean anything) can happen on stage. Expect to be surprised; perplexed, even—but never bored.

In the words of director Ian Wong, “This will be THE show stuck on everybody’s lips. You wouldn’t budge it with a sledgehammer. Don’t live to regret not being there with us!” Need we say more?

I Left my Heart at Outram Park runs for one night only on 7 March at 1930h at
the University Cultural Centre Hall. Tickets are selling fast, so grab one now for $15. We promise a night filled with entertainment so spread the word and share the fun!
Visit us at http://www.kentridge.nus.edu.sg/hallproduction/
to see our Facebook event, videos, photos, & more!

Contact Jasmine Ng at jasnkt@hotmail.com or 9821 4511 for booking.
For further queries, approach Orlanda Goh at orlanda.goh@gmail.com or 9762 9547.

This article should come out in THE RIDGE campus magazine... and its too late to change... but they spelt my name as IAN LOW!! WTFFFF!!! Ian Low isn't even in production! or even in singapore for that matter!! HUMPH! *throws tantrum*

fume

2008-01-26T01:59:00.000+08:00

the worst part about knowing both sides of the story

you wanna kill somebody but realize that person is too useful to you in the long run

FUCK.

take the lead

2008-01-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

the problem with natural leaders is that they make themselves known. They can't help it. No matter how they try to hide.

Now therefore, present yourselves before the Lord by your tribes and by your clans." 20 And when Samuel had caused all the tribes of Israel to come near, the tribe of Benjamin was chosen. 21 When he had caused the tribe of Benjamin to come near by their families, the family of Matri was chosen. And Saul the son of Kish was chosen. But when they sought him, he could not be found. 22 Therefore they inquired of the Lord further, "Has the man come here yet?" And the Lord answered, "There he is, hidden among the equipment." 23 So they ran and brought him from there; and when he stood among the people, he was taller than any of the people from his shoulders upward. 24 And Samuel said to all the people, "Do you see him whom the Lord has chosen, that there is no one like him among all the people?" So all the people shouted and said, "Long live the king!"

1 Samuel 10:19-24

hmmm.... cheers? *raises wine glass*

in a moment, of the meantime

2008-01-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

The last few days were intense. I swear, if the Hall profs had pushed me a bit further... i could have just dumped everything, let them handle their own production if they want dictatorial powers. Fortunately i didn't... control has been regained. there is a plan in the works. losta shit flying. Some i have to take rather than let the others suffer.

this video and the subsequent episodes realllly made my day... hahaha!

."cut" by Royston Tan

yes i shamelessly wish i didn't have to deal with idiots. But as the video shows, when it comes to media censorship, Singapore has its own unique brand of idiots.

Bah Humbug.

Change is possible. Let votes do the talking. One day we'll be a true first world nation.

Ian Out. *i asked for wine! not beer!*

1st post of 2008

2008-01-04T09:44:00.000+08:00

Man thaat was one eventful dec. The best i've had for a long time.

week 1 = exams
week 2 = vietnam
week 3 = rehearsals
week 4 = real "holiday" holidays

now rehearsals are starting again and thank God my asst. directors and other directors are beginnin to stream back in. Workin without extra hands was crazy. I don't understand how some movie directors have the time or energy to be control freaks. I've been pretty laissez faire about most things in life and i'm still sometimes up to my neck in trouble.

Had a truly memorable New Years countdown with Nicole, Edwin, Joash, Su-lyn and Yu-qin. In fact, b'day, Christmas and everythin in-between was brilliant.

yup got a chance to catch up with noelle and vic too!

I'm actually lookin forward to 2008. no reasons to. perfectly plain silly optimism. Letting my heart take the lead again.

first major compliment of the year really got me thinking. Nicole told me i'm the "sane-est person she's ever met". And believe me, she's met tons of people. beats my record every time no matter what i try. anyway, back to that debatable compliment...

I was stunned. i've spent a greater part of my life believing i was crazy, if not badly eccentric. A girl named Michelle once told me i was throughly irrational when i said i wasn't too worried over the impending exams cos grades aren't everything in life. Maybe, just maybe, i'm ok but the rest of the world is insane?
Now thats gettin existentialist.

excerpts from "For the Girl" by The Fratellis

Aw she said she said no no no no
Then again yes why don't you kill me
He asked him why you messed up right there
Sweetheart you know that don't thrill me
Said I would've been there for if you had been a little bit nicer
I was dead by Sunday half dead scared just trying to please her

She was into the Stones when
I was into the Roses
She was breaking my bones when
I was bursting their noses
She would tell me a secret
I would lose it the next day
Young love pleases you easy
Makes you sick in a bad way

And all the while the girls sang
La la la la and she sang
Kickings for my sweetheart
Bruises that I just don't miss

And she said "I can't love you anymore than this!"

keepin it together

2007-12-18T12:59:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel im barely keeping myself under control while performing pirouettes along the edge of insanity

this song, tho i know not the lyrics, has music which totally connects to what's gg on in my head.

killer tune - by Tokyo Jihen

I sooo cant wait for this album to come out in stores.

This week, hall production has rehearsals every weekday. 2-5pm, 7.30-10.30pm. my 2 asst. directors are overseas. 1 music director overseas. 1 music director MIA. i am sooo dead. the hall is sooo empty. everyone is running around with hall activities. i can't openly complain or show exhaustion cos it'll rub off on the actors. im supposed to be their teacher, their encouragement, their director. 4 days left to go till i get a break. i wonder if i'll last that long.

well at least i have the power to cancel a couple rehearsals. i wonder if i'll ever have to.

after the afternoon slot i feel terrible... then after the nite slot i feel super high. This routine's gonna push me over the edge fo sure. keep tellin ppl to relax, yet i myself cant bitch much to hall peeps. its truly lonely at the top.

on a lighter note... Saigon was friggin fun so i had a good rest beforehand. Nicole's coming to church with me on Saturdays. been closer to her than ever b4, so thats pretty cool. brought back some good movies to watch. gettin back to using msn and chatting with good ol' frens. Fabio Capello is England manager, as i had predicted he'd be. Song writers meeting on thurs, so i can finally delegate some work to them. Perhaps i'll survive after all. Then comes exam results which im sure will pwn me. heh.

Just bring it. *raises wine glass*

of asses and amoebas

2007-12-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

Charlotte saved my ass today. I officially owe her an ass now. All i can say is THANK GOD. Its the silly things like this where God shows you that you're never ever really in control. But thankfully HE is. God used Charlotte to save my ass, probably saved a CAP grade. I'm feelin reallly embarrassed whole thing right now so, please, dont ask.

With the CAP scores we got, me and Charlotte are destined to be year3 final years. Boo yeah.

Damn... i got another exam in 1hr

Anyway, we caught up with Jason from KR too... we know him affectionately as "sexless amoeba", because he exudes neither masculinity nor femininity... and i swear he never seems to talk about girls so we all wonder if he harbours any deeper "desires" at all. "sexless amoeba" through and through. He says its proof of his self control, to which i asked if there are any "urges" to control at all. No answer. The verdict is still out. We have hope he'll pull through.

Cheers! Its my birthday and i'll blog when i want to! *raises wine glass*

Disappointment

2007-11-28T10:33:00.000+08:00

Despite how much i say will be my last academic year at NUS. It still bugs me to get anything lower than a B. I've finished 2 papers and the next 2 are on Monday. By the way things things are shaping up... several of my assignments have already severely bugged me. Shit. By right it shouldn't matter anymore... just graduate with merit already. but damn, personal pride la. failure to meet my own expectations and shit. oh well. old habits die hard. I gotta remember that there is more to life than grades. BUT... its kinda hard when its a major conversation-starter-topic around here...

Fark-kit-la

No wonder some people call me a bad influence... I wonder how i will approach next sem... aim to pass? aim to meet my expectations? see results first then plan... gotta hasten back to study.

Cheers *raises glass of chicken essence*

Exams or no exams...

2007-11-23T17:18:00.000+08:00

This is interesting... i've somehow come back here again even though i'm supposed to be on hiatus...

anyway the exams are back and frankly, i dont feel a thing...

its such a drag. another sem, another exam.

by dec5 it'll all be over. dec3 i've got 2 papers. and the worst part is.... it's my friggin birthday! woooo! happy birthday to meee! i sooooo love the gift i prepared for myself when i applied for those modules in august.

sheesh... i realize i dont really work towards exams. they seem to be just irritating hindrances that get in the way of me doing bigger things.

cant wait to get my degree. no offense to the NUS peeps. I love u all. I love the uni life. I just know it cant last forever and i need to be thinking of the next stage.

I've got a pretty good idea of what i'd like to do for a living, but before that, I wanna try my hand at short films. Maybe get a couple of competitions under my belt.

But yeah... big ideas, but once again... exams are in the way, and by default... i should at least try my best. even tales of love and loss will have to take a back seat for now.

Cheers. *raises wine glass*

random fact of the day:

There is a small town in Sri Lanka actually called Punani

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punani%2C_Sri_Lanka

the pragmatist in me

2007-11-07T19:48:00.000+08:00

highly provocative rethink of grand strategy in progress...

feeling so weird...

this was sooo unpredicted

ANYWAY... apart from my cryptic sputterings, today's test on the Dynamics of Interpersonal Effectiveness was sooo bullshit... i swear i dont regret not studying for it.

and i had a great McDonalds breakfast to boot. Cheers Marcus! *raises wine glass*

Prayer

2007-10-26T00:43:00.000+08:00

Teach me oh Lord, to be the man You want me to be

180 degrees

2007-10-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

how the fuck did all this happen? i didnt sign up for the "turn-my-life-into-a-fucking-sitcom" scheme.
now the outcome is gonna be soooo fucking predictable....

barely 2 days... and im gonna reverse my position and run back to her. Fucking embarrassing. Yet fucking predictable.

I thought it was over. I even changed the blog music to commemorate the event.

1 conversation later, now everything is different. Brain definitely advises i get away while the going's good. But here i am left feeling grateful that i wasn't hasty. I hadn't publicized my feelings about ending everything yet.

God i love her. she doesn't love me back much. Who knows if she ever will? in a nutshell. facts on the ground remain. no guarantees. I could be setting myself up for an even bigger fall. I am stupid. There is so much more to my life than this. yet here i am.

I believe we have guardian angels. They watch over us to protect us. Right now mine must be wondering how crazy these humans are. And I always thought of myself as a rational thinker. yet when i think of how much she means to me... perhaps i can take being made a clown just this once. I've always been an entertainer.

will everything be different? how long can ian persevere b4 the fire is spent?
i'll decide tml.

Friendship is the most important denominator.

"no matter what happens, we'll still be friends"............*raises wine glass*

P.S. if you are unfortunately left clueless as to what or who i'm talking about, well... take heart in knowing you are not alone. you must understand how the mish mash of details is really fucking embarrassing, and i've been bloggin to let off steam rather than to invite people to turn my love life into a fucking gossip column.

so close yet so far

2007-10-22T00:12:00.000+08:00

i feel like a fish that was just released into the sea, somehow sad becos i had so badly wanted a fish tank.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

stuck with a glimmer of hope so faint that to reach out and touch it would snuff it out

where do i go from here? *the wine glass is half empty*

ANOTHER SUITCASE IN ANOTHER HALL - OST from the opera, "Evita"


I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it--wouldn't you?
So what happens now?

Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me--and they do
So what happens now?

Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by you always have before
Where am I going go?

Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of each sad occasion
But that's no consolation--here and now

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?


Don't ask anymore

wishful thinking

2007-10-17T22:05:00.001+08:00

back at the beach again. Well, not physically... guess this blog has to replace the beach in the meantime.

why am i back here again? what the hell is going on? why do i rant without giving a context upon which the audience can see my frustration?

its been a great couple'o'months... just few by. just like that. so much has happened since rag day that i dont know how to begin. perhaps i should be apologetic to those who actually read this blog... cos this next post will have all the artistic value of a burst balloon.
yes, life's been good. and i'm just gonna get all the more random. and no im not drunk.

Uniform Supper Nite at kent ridge hall A-block in a few minutes. by right i should be happy. maybe i'll get happy. maybe i'll

why can't i study? why i can't i get that hall production admin work done? why am i complaining online when i actually might be able to do something more productive?
well, fact of the matter is, all that work will eventually get done, but it still can't prevent me from ranting here and now.

i wish i could decide if i am in a good or bad situation. i wish i could attach a value judgment, reach a conclusion, then a plan of action. i wish for many things. i wish i could go out for a drink but i have a test tml. i wish i could exit stage right, and rethink the plot. most of all, i wish i can wait...

time to go... the show must go on... *raises wine glass*

wa... kena sabo by 5hyan

2007-08-27T21:00:00.000+08:00

Rules: Each player of the game starts off by writing 6 weird things about themselves before choosing another 6 of their friends to "sabo". People who get tagged needs to write in a blog on their own, 6 weird things about themselves and state the rules clearly.

6 weird things

I’m very picky when it comes to t-shirts. The t-shirt section of my wardrobe is grouped into “aesthetic”, “hidden meanings” and “sentimental value”.

I’ve never owned a gaming console beyond the Sega Megadrive II. (bet it’s an antique by now… if only I could find it…)

I refuse to beg my parents for anything. I even paid for my own driving lessons. That’s the ace up my sleeves whenever I negotiate something with them. Heh heh.

My friends and I used to run a pokemon-card dealing cartel in St Pats Sec. We’d control supply, control prices, keep tabs on the competition and buying trends. It fell apart when one of us tried to gain more customers by slashing prices, sparking a price war. There I realized that friends and competitive business don’t mix. In JC I slept thru all of micro-economics because I had literally, done it all before.

I have 1 stuffed toy which I attach sentimental value to… and it’s a platypus. It’s still unnamed becos I don’t talk to it. (Thank God I’m not THAT weird)

I’ve hung around so many weird people that I get fidgety around people who seem too normal. I secretly wonder if that’ll hurt my dating chances.

Sabo 6 weird stuff from 6 weird ppl

1. Marilvyn
2. Terri
3. Aileen
4. Joash
5. Heidi
6. Alvin

Rag Day

2007-08-11T11:05:00.000+08:00

when darkness turns to light... it ends tonight

why did stupid NUSSU decide to hold things at the Padang? is NUS is such dire need of publicity? logistical nightmare here we come. At least we can grab a supper in town i guess.

The KR float will devour all other floats. its massive, even by my standards, and i've worked on 2 previous Rag Days, both with FASS.

final sprint before another lull.

cheers! *raises wine glass with paint stains*

fucking tired

2007-08-09T00:42:00.000+08:00

fwoc has been closed. but guess i'll still be busy till Rag Day, 11 Aug.

been a fulfilling couple o' weeks

1. got to know many new friends, seniors and freshies alike

2. participated in Flag Day, did my part for charity. the freshies obviously poured their heart n souls out for it. i feel like a slacker compared to them, but thats just fine with me.

3. met up with the Parablers again tonite. Skipped a Rag Day rehearsal for it. Yup. we had planned it a month ago. I wouldnt have missed it just to take another hall arrow in the chest. These are where my priorities lie.
looks like we'll be working on a film again. by right, i shld be enthu and raring to go. This is livin my dream. why do i feel so fucking tired?

4. finally had a good sleep today, woke up at 11am. its 12.40am now. still quite early. but i feel fucking tired.

i feel squeezed and squished by the banality of life. Its anti-climaxes, its temporary joys, its conflicts and suffering which lead on to really... who knows where?...
tired of stupid details and a myriad of different stories which make up my existence. A tirade of stories of that won't serve any purpose if made public. Thus better left off as untold.
i remember when i was a quiet wallflower. its boredom and solitude. i had swore off those days forever.
no, i do not think of those days fondly.
but these new days, once in awhile, i have this free time to myself, and end up feeling fucking tired.

one day at a time.

i have filled room A414 with knick knacks, gadgets, gimmicks, sustenance and art... to make it feel like home... but all i feel is alone.

head tells me God is here with me. Dear God... is everything going according to your plan?

Dating updates

2007-08-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it. I was barely gone for half an hour at a meeting, suddenly my mystery suitor had upped the ante! all within the space of a day of her first present!

letter n chocolates!!

new decor on my door!!

i was lugging freebies back to my room from the lounge so i took the rear staircase. Apparently it took her "look-out" frens entirely by surprise. I barely caught a glimpse of her b4 her look-outs sounded the alarm. Seeing their shocked faces was a hilarious tho... too bad they beat a hasty and embarrassing retreat b4 i could catch up... *freebies in tow*

sooo sweet... this is gettin outta hand. I get competitive over these kinda things. I'm supposed to be the impressive one. But she has beaten me to it. I stand impressed. time to scheme up a killer way to reciprocate.

cheers! *raises wine glass*

livin for the weekend

2007-08-06T16:55:00.000+08:00

spent saturday at sentosa gettin my ass baked to a crispy golden brown... ok maybe i shall spare everyone the details. either way, it was damn fun making the freshies do silly games. A-block won the "Best Drag Queen Award"... yet again... i'll upload the pics when i can... and no, the drag queen wasn't me. The funniest part is that historically, A-block has won this dubious award for 5 consecutive years running. Another funny part is, one of the contestants has sexier legs than most girls i know. its freaking me out. you could literally hear girls whispering: "OMG! his legs are hotter than mine!". AND he was wearing fish-net stockings!!!... and maybe i shall once again spare everyone the (grisly) details. The worst part is, HE STAYS ON MY LEVEL!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!

i think i shall invest in a huge new lock for my door. The kind they use in nuclear silos...
----------------------------------
sunday turned out great too. i attended a talk on creationism. it totally blew me away. I had studied "chemistry in space", so i pretty much know in layman terms the fundamentals of the Big-Bang Theory, evolution, the size of the expanding universe and the like...

havin said that, i really didn't buy the idea that the universe could be created in 6 days. I had always said that God used the forces of physics to create everything in 6 epocs, spanning around 14billion years... thus reconcilling the Bible and science... becos "in the eyes of God, a thousand years is a day, and a day is a thousand years"... God isn't bound by the limits of human time.

Then suddenly this guy comes all the way from Australia (Gary Bates - Head of Creation Ministries International - Aus) with actual scientific proof that the world was created in 6 days, that humans walked with dinosaurs, and that radio-carbon dating methods on fossils are horrendously inaccurate. All i had learnt was blown outta da water. Praise God that the miracle of creation is actually a whole lot younger than i had imagined... 10,000 years old at max. I held him back for a good 20mins after the talk to question him. And every evidence i put forward had a very logical and scientifically-sound answer. Its astounding that our science will soon understand the truth of God's creation. Hopefully i'll see the day that the Big Bang Theory and Evolution Theory become obsolete.

hell, for me, i knew for certain God had a plan and a special place for mankind in this universe, but i so wanted to understand the processes that God used, that i had always explained it in terms i could understand to be true. Now i find that God's literal truth in the Bible is still the most accurate account. a mere 6 days. and on the 7th, He rested. And thus we have the working week and the weekend. YAY!! WEEKEND!!!

i always believed that faith had to be questioned before exercised. A mind which fails to inquire is susceptible to being taken advantage of. Its great that i serve a God who answers those who seek.

Creation Ministries International
------------------------------------------

Monday. Typically, this day usually gets me on a downer. However, things are still lookin up.

1. I won the bidding war for SC2214 (sociology of mass media n culture). 15 ppl bidding for 4 vacancies. the downside is nick n jason suddenly got cold feet and left to do geography 101. bleah.

whoever wants to challenge me for modules better be prepared to slug it out.
Program Acc: 2104 General Acc: 1989
you will lose... My CORS points will blot out the sun!!!

2. speaking of bids, looks like someone's finally bidding to date me for formal dinner...

sooooo cute! i found this on my bed today when i came back to hall... its a... lemme guess... a little balloon man fishing! so suggestive...

hmmm... not sure who to reply to tho... cos the card was signed-off as "S.E."... (why do they always play hard-to-get?)

hahhaha... quite lucky i left my room unlocked over the weekend, cos it got better...

our mystery suitor actually arranged my bed! i've never EVER seen it this neat! its almost a shame i'll be sleepin in it...

thus now the present shall take a special place in my room

now whoever wants to date me will have to beat this performance! hahaha!
(now i know what it feels like to be a hot chick :P)

on the other hand, i hope she didn't see anythin in my room which might be scandalous... :P

cheers to one helluva weekend! on to Flag Day tml!
*raises wine glass*

FWOC-ed up

2007-08-03T17:07:00.000+08:00

im a full time councilor (FTC) in FWOC, freshman welcome orientation camp for KR hall. i have exactly 20mins left to post this before i have to run off to the next program, freshman graduation bbq... i am suffering from lack-of-sleep-induced-high... and no freshie has asked me out for a date yet... damn... so behind schedule... hahhaha!

a typical FWOC-ing day starts at 7.30am and ends at 3-4am... i am on day 6 and running... throat as dry as a sand bucket after cheer number 200,837...

i swear, one day im gonna look back at my uni life and wonder when did my sanity go AWOL. :P

ok... time up!

3 cheers! (more cheers??)
ian

The older we get, we become more attached to our toys

2007-07-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

went LAN gaming with joash. Haven't sat in a LAN shop for ages. Totally unused to the dim lighting and the blindingly good graphics of Quake 4 and Command and Conquer 3. Now i know what i've been missing in the gaming sphere. I wonder if i'll ever go back to hardcore gaming. My first-player shooter skills haven't depreciated that badly, but i could only do 2 hours straight before my brain started twitching.

So yeah, been wondering, since its my last year (probably) in student life, what will things be like once I'm working? Thus far, all I'm certain of is how I'm gonna spend that money! hahaha! bachelors pad with home theater system, xbox 360, and whatever imba desktop the industry has to offer by then...

but... in the near future... my next toy/tool will be the Sony Ericsson k850i

i knew Sony Ericsson wouldn't let me down. When the Nokia N95 came out, i wondered: when will Sony Ericsson gimme a 5 megapixel camera phone? i don't really need a web-surfing phone, just a more muscular version of my trusty k700i. The k800i didn't really fascinate me with the 3.2 megapixel cam. The photo-blogging function raised my eyebrows tho...

but hey, with the k850i, hell, it was well worth the wait. My K700i is still surviving at 2 years and 3-4months old. In a couple o months i'll have the perfect replacement! Plus the photo-bloggin function! video-bloggin function! With 5 megapixel Cybershot cam, with this phone i'll also solve my need for a good camera, AND probably solves my need for an MP3 player. With the video-cam mode, guerrilla filming here i come!

the great thing about technology is, the longer you wait, the better it becomes.
then just get somethin tailored to your needs.
----------------------------
other stuff i got recently:

160 Gb external hard-drive
Cardbus with multiple ports: 2 x USB, 1 x firewire, 1 x DV
----------------------------

now video editing the Synthesis youth month events. i was arrowed remarkably fast after the Parable Project. haha. As Ps Fu-Man says, if one's toys become used for the wider community and glory of God, they are no longer toys, they become TOOLS!

cheers! *raises wine glass*

Parablers best pics for...

2007-07-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

5 best pics for a CD cover... I swear... some of these shots are really good lor!

some rock band with an over-enthusiastic female member

J-pop/K-pop album...

or CD back cover...

if this CD fails... it'll make a great dating ad...

new age

like some... teen pop group... sial

6 best pics for a horror movie...

if Dan wasn't a such spoiler at the back... this would be truly horrifying

the rabid bane of chinese desserts everywhere

man... this is just plain freaky

join the blind rappers society

Robo-Cyclops-Gaither is gonna hunt u down and terminate you... so you wont get a contract for the sequel

kids... dont ever play in plutonium...

you won't be afraid of Fear

2007-07-19T13:39:00.000+08:00

events of the week:

back from SWOC, KR seniors' pre-camp b4 orientation. im burnt to a crisp due to 1 day worth of games at sentosa. i signed up to be a ghost for fright nite. fear me.

also watched Transformers (for a second time) with Parable Project peeps. It was just as enjoyable as the first time watching. And the feeling u get from seeing fellow film appreciators, awed, laughing, inspired, that feeling is just indescribable.

will be pulling an all-nighter again tonite to make sure the freshman-edition of the FASS magazine (Insomniac) is complete before matric fair. The current draft looks to be wrecking havoc on the lives of the Insom editing team. Never in my whole NUS life has the freshman-edition ever been completed without an all-nighter by the editors. We hypothesize that our predecessors of 6 years ago cursed all following generations by naming the FASS magazine "Insomniac". to all prospective parents, please name your children well.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

that nite out with the Parablers, i received a call from JCRC (hall excomm). They wanted me to direct the next hall stage production. It'll be at the massive University Cultural Centre (UCC) hall.

my first reaction was fear. I stalled for time, told him i'll think about it. This is gonna be my last year in uni... did i really wanna spend it on a hot-potato of a job? i had acted in the previous production. we remember it's grandeur. The previous director's shoes will be tough to fill. I knew the jobs in management were ever more killer than my acting job. But at the same time, i loved my time in production, and i knew i may never get a chance like this... ever again.

that nite on the train back, i wondered why i was so scared. Ever since i made a commitment to myself in the army, i had swore-off a normal life. i began to become increasingly self-critical in order to improve myself. I was terrified of becoming just another brick in the wall. I turned my fear into a force to propel myself to greater heights. I threw myself into dreams and projects just to prove to myself i could do them.

2004: wrote songs, saved to buy a good guitar, practiced guitar

2005: wrote songs, played guitar in gigs, joined church youth comm, joined FASS Rag, writer with FASS Insomniac Magazine, wrote to soccer forum page of New Paper.

2006: wrote plays, backstage manager at "Storm in a Fishbowl", editor with Insomniac n kicked-off 1st ever FASS Insomniac online magazine, joined FASS Orientation-week comm. Elected as History Society Publications Director. wormed my way into Kent Rigde Hall, joined KRX drama team, joined KR sports writers, joined KR original music writers, fought towards getting a youth service for church, attended META camp

2007: youth service successfully started, joined Campus Crusade, sports writing during Inter-Hall Games, acted in hall production, wrote song n played it in hall AIX, recorded 1st-ever podcast for Insom Online, producer for 1st ever inter-hall dramafest.... then... BURNOUT

I realized the Fear that drove me forward was insatiable. Nothing i did was ever enough. Nothing gave me peace of mind. The worst fear of all was that someone would expose me for the fraud i really am. That i was driven by nightmares instead of dreams.

the most haunting question: will doing all this get people to love me?

There. I've said it. I've exposed myself. I beat anyone else to it. heh. suck on that, Fear.

holidays: joined The Parable Project (TPP). I guess i too was searching for God, wondering if there was any meaning in the way i had lived since the day the fucked-up army released me.
After God spoke to me in (TPP), i prayed that i'll conquer the Fear that had become such a close partner in my life. I wanted Jesus to take the wheel and steer. Fear has had it for too long.

God answered my prayer in style. My insecurities burnt to ashes. I never ever had such a restful holiday. Then the call came. Suddenly i didn't have the driving force to say "yes". I wrestled with the question. I wanted to slack in my new-found assurance. I prayed all the way on the train. I poured myself out to God. To which His simple reply was
"What are you afraid of?"

Every time i argued why it'll be a bad idea, i got the same reply. "What are you afraid of?" Every time my arguments were rebuffed, i felt more courageous. By the time my prayer ended, i was dead certain i wanted to do it. If Jesus is in charge, why should i be afraid? There was nothing there that could scare me anymore. I called back to say i wanted to be Director.

Perhaps... it was God's plan that i had expanded my skills... to prepare me for a time such as this... But now, He wants me to be powered by dreams instead of nightmares.

Thank God. How will i ever express it better? *raises wine glass*

The Parable Project

2007-07-13T17:39:00.000+08:00

prepare yourselves for the longest post of all time. So long, i had to split it into 5 posts.

i've been late in writing and recollecting the events of the last month, primarily becos i wanted to ingest all the memories and look at things from hindsight, secondarily becos i knew it'll be killer tough to pen down absolutely everythin at one shot, so my lazy side usually had the final say.

May 28-June 15... arguably the biggest thing to hit me all year. The Parable Project (TPP). Gen12ii mission trip of Campus Crusade for Christ. A crash-course in film-making. First time ever attempted by them. First time ever attempted by me. This post deserves to be long. I don't meet God that often, but He spoke to me during those 3 weeks.

I had signed up for TPP some months before, not really knowing what to expect, thus i didn't expect much. I just thought that I could put my acting skills to use for God. I was fresh and still bleeding from a major major emotional setback.Timing was perfect. May 27. To all TPP peeps who might be reading this, if i looked ok on Monday May 28, then lets just say my acting had already started. I wanted to come into God's service with a professional heart, to do my absolute best, even if i had to bluff myself into being ok.

At that stage i was using work to distract myself. I wondered if God really wanted me here. Lessons started, then one lecture really hit me. The gist goes that Jesus told stories to encourage people to question themselves. He didn't go around forcing the truth down people's throats. Today our modern means of story-telling is thru film and media. And our stories can reach millions. I knew then that i really wanted to be a part of this.

due to some photo-crazy frens, the rest of the story can be told in pictures (better that than a thousand words right?)

Gabriel, Hui Hui, Rajan. Tryin hard to absorb a particularly technically-inclined lecture.

(from left to right)
our pro (Harry), and semi-pros *heh heh*( josel, drew, john, carl)
wow, someone managed to get a candid shot of all of em'!

apparently, some friendships forged were... er... chummier than others

amidst all the busy-ness, we had a welcome break with Joann's surprise birthday celebration! She didn't suspect a thing, already expecting to forsake a b'day in God's service. But we couldn't let her, could we?

aww... look at that happy face! priceless.

barney and her bro made a surprise entrance

and we finally had our first ever group photo

before long, we were split into 4 groups, each tasked to come up with a killer script. From these, 2 will become the Chosen Ones.

i teamed up with Terri, Li Ling, and Daniel (left to right). seeking inspiration at the roof of Vivo City, we bumped into another team. Marcus, Marilyn and... Jocelyn (not in frame) .

little did we know that we would meet once again and combine our forces as Chosen Ones. (ok, maybe Chosen Ones sounds cheesy... any better suggestions?)

...perhaps it was a match made in heaven. (ah... Jocelyn's in frame now)

but for now, we went our separate ways. The next day, my team proceeded to Starbuck's. Hoping to find inspiration in overdoses of coffee. While the other team fried brain cells at Jocelyn's house. We relentlessly bugged her on MSN. Whenever we were bored in fact, which occurred quite often.

The creative process is a long and arduous road. The following photos are proof of the toll it takes on mental health.

7-11 man to the rescue! 24hours a day!

marcus developed a fetish for sticking his head in weird places.

only later he discovered that ppl warm their feet in that fluffy pink thing. he wasn't laughing then.

2007-07-13T17:33:00.000+08:00

turns out, a script titled "Shoes Anonymous" was born from amidst this madness. i was quite proud of it... it started from Daniel's idea to use the theme of suicide, and my idea to shoot shoe shots to tell the story.

Marcus, Marilyn and Jocelyn were tasked to join our group. Thus team "shoes anonymous" was born, a crazy combination of talents only God could have thought of. We immediately got to work on storyboarding and location scouting.

they elected me to be director. They took awhile to convince me. I was scared. It was a huge task. And the scariest part was, it was going to be work for God Almighty, Big Man himself. The job demanded me to be a perfectionist, something i really had too little practice in being.

Rookie through and through. I frequently wondered if God really chose me for this.

The other team's script was titled "Showhand". Jiet Sie(director) and Rajan (editor), consulting Harry (pro man to the rescue)

The following shots came from the location scouts. The places are really cool. Maybe locations for a future shoot?

Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
-Psalms 36:5

Joce is stoning again! Quick! throw something at her!

whoa... super emo shot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a hard day's scouting, they needed refreshments.

Marcus reports:
Coming to aid Dan by her superhuman strength, She Hulk Liling uncontrollably rips the chair to shreds. Unable to control her powers, SHL has become a super menace to public property...

Marcus reports:
Thank goodness for her super heroic social resposibilities! She Hulk Liling attempts to put the chair back to its original form for the sake of the greater public, but alas... to no avail... the chair was long accepted in furniture heaven.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2007-07-13T17:20:00.000+08:00

Then came the trial by fire. Our pros pointed out some weaknesses in our script. We took the criticism with a pinch of salt at first, but after much debate, WE decided to SCRAP THE SCRIPT. Time was running out. It was two days before shooting of another script, "A Sticky Affair", conceived by our pros.

This was the most trying part of TPP. To overhaul the script and improve it. To balance off the conflicting points of view and the conflicting styles of working. All the while trying to get into the head of a suicidal girl for the script. Things looked dire. We felt like shit. There were fears the team would fall apart. There were fears the main character's depression was rubbing off on us. I took the team out of the building to trash out our issues. We poured out our feelings to each other. We prayed desperately. We emerged with a new determination to finish what we started. What God started. and thankfully... we emerged with friendships not merely intact, but strengthened.

so began the first shoot, where i learnt the ropes as an assistant director. That box of colourful thing-ies are gels for lighting. I learnt to hate dragging that around. Cos you'll never know which you'll need, so just bring all. At this point, the "shoes anonymous" script and storyboard was still not out *sweats*.

"A Sticky Affair" was a comedy about chewing gum addiction. Unfortunately it rubbed off on more than a few of us. The spare props were soon eaten.

We were given 48hours shooting time for our flicks. Our scripting ate into shooting time. We had 30hours shooting time left. Let the shooting begin!

You know how everything looks perfect on screen? well, off-screen... looks like an illegal sweat shop. smells like one too...

Terri our sound.. woman! looks like she's reporting from some disaster area.

was so engrossed i didnt know sum1 was gg ard snappin pics

fortunately, it makes me look vaguely glam... hahahha!

It was 8pm at nite. We needed a day shot. So we tweaked the lighting with a lil movie magic, making a warm morning-ish effect. By the time we were done with lights, it was 12am! Time for action already! Slept 3 hours that nite.

rise and shine. All set for the soccer shot. But we needed mud! Miraculously, Dan's fren lived in the shooting location, providing a bucket of water on extremely short notice. He came and disappeared mysteriously like the wind.

imagine trying to film a running soccer player with this crew attached to you.

all the while, Josel hovers around, hoping to catch a blooper on film.

next stop: rooftop scene

a view to die for

dark foreboding clouds drift in

josel(staff) and Li Ling(producer)

Joce(star) and Dan(gaffer) mucking about

it was hot, i was on a concrete roof and on a tight schedule, thus visibly exasperated.

But it was a real joy cos God provided the PERFECT WEATHER to shoot!
Dan looks like he's posing for a Ministry of Education poster.
"I can do anything, if you TEACH me how!"

inspirational wallpaper anyone?

Back for the room shots. Marcus mopes about his uneven tan.

everyone is dying. 4 hrs shooting time left. final sprint.

some of us are dying in weirder ways than others

Looks like joce is picking for ticks.

at 0015hrs... we declared "ITS A WRAP!". truly orgasmic moment.

Next stop: EDITING!!! *scary dramatic music fills the air*

I see dead people. I was one of them.

Josel editing the behind-the-scenes shots.

Hui Hui, Production Assistant from "Showhand"

Marilyn, our diligent editor.

Joann composed music for "Showhand" ALL BY HERSELF!! i wish i was so skilled.

Dan and Marcus, my dedicated cinematographers, in intense discussion.

then they notice the camera, and reverted to their true selves.

andrew, star of "A Sticky Affair", playing around on drums

John n Pam Gaither. They came over from USA, and hope to do a "Parable Project" back home too

new and innovative ways to snooze

with all the gloom around the office, I attempted to liven things up by showing the youtube video "Indian Thriller with lyrics". It drove everyone's fragile sanity over the edge. Marilyn is still traumatized. Rajan laughed to tears. I have officially introduced Indian Thriller to the Campus Crusade for Christ. I am such a positive influence.

Even this late into production, i struggled, wondering if i was really the right guy God chose. I felt extremely unworthy. All through the thing, i had to make big decisions and stick to them or risk wasting time. I was called a dictator for the first time in my life. Finally my decision to audition a narrator for "Shoes Anonymous" would make or break the whole thing, and i was terrified of making it. I wanted God to make the decision. I wanted to flip a coin. But God said... he trusted my decision. It was like, a huge weight on my shoulders just disappeared. I chose Jiet Sie to narrate, poaching her from her directing duties at "Showhand" , for awhile.

Finally the pieces came together, after cutting and chopping, we took 6mins and 45sec from our entire shoot of 2hrs worth of film. Check out our films under the "Music and Movies" section of my blog!(includes "Indian Thriller with lyrics") or visit http://www.wideangleproductions.blogspot.com/
(includes a short write-up on what is WideAngleProductions)

2007-07-13T17:09:00.000+08:00

Now came the fun part, movie premier nite! 15Jun

Recee-ing The Substation. Drew(director/editor of "A Sticky Affair"), Li Ling, Dan, Gabriel(producer of "Showhand" , Joce.

I found a tiny bear during filming of the commentary

its hard to be taken seriously with a bear on your head. Oh the prejudice...

the bear was instantly popular tho...

DAHrrrling... do these earrings match my eyes?

camera whoring before moving out

at this point, i sparked yet another unwholesome trend

it might come in useful in a job interview tho...

andrew is very proud that he stirred the drinks

The Substation. looks so cool n indie...

Prisoners of the film industry.
we actually snuck into NUS archi workshop to make the key chains for door gifts.

Marilyn, tight-fisted enforcer of the PA room

Ernest, star of "showhand", also handling PA duties on premier nite.

Li Ling and Gabriel practicing emcee-ing

i was visibly happy when things went without a hitch

the girls didnt seem to appreciate our presence in the shot

2007-07-13T17:01:00.001+08:00

The Aftermath... not math that comes afterwards

supper at Bugis, one of my regular haunts

taking advantage of ppl talking obliviously on the phone

all in all, there was a great turnout. 90% to 100% full house for each screening. God even brought in ppl from the street!

its time to PARTY! 16jun

me and terri wanna do "slippers anonymous", the sequel

but she's REALLY interested to do "asses anonymous", dramatic "end" to the trilogy

Marilyn finally reveals what she really thinks about me

Dan made some really cool collages

sighhh... the memories... i'll miss this place

Believe me when i say this was a life-changing 18 days.

Cheers, one and all! *raises wine glass"

exercise in futility

2007-06-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

never ever bring that up again!.... until later....

Hahaha! *raises wine glass*

Parable

2007-05-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

The Parable Project is the name of my film course. Wonderful stuff. I wanna be able to tell stories just as Jesus did. Then people will question themselves, pine for the truth instead of rejecting it.

This has thus far been slightly taxing, cos the skills required in film are much different from the stage. I'm almost re-learning a language.

Watched a bit of the movie "Good Will Hunting"... this particular segment had a deep impact on me.

... someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.

-Sean, chiding Will.

superb dialogue....hmmm... my own take on the issue: if she won't be your angel... it doesn't change the fact that she's an angel right?

Tell us a story. lift us from this mundane world. overcome the odds, the evils, the the avarice

give us all a song and a reason why.... *raises wine bottle*...excuse my ramble.

The death of a dream

2007-05-29T21:27:00.000+08:00

*breaking radio silence*

i'm shattered.

Dreams are precious things.

With Jesus' help... i shld be able to get by this without the excessive use of alcohol.

the music is gone.

And I've had my first ever nose bleed in my life.

I'm film-making. Finding distraction in work.

It's a crying shame. (Britishism for: a tragic event)

I don't run away from the pieces. That's not the way i fly.

*zzzt*

What goes into these things???

2007-05-25T10:57:00.000+08:00

o.... kay...... its a "Happy Feet" flavored slurpee....

That probably means its made of either.... penguins... or...... feet

i can just imagine the machine where penguins go in... and slurpees come out

over and out! *raises wine glass*

my muse might desert me when i need it most

2007-05-23T09:28:00.000+08:00

Random events

Wed: Sending Melvin off to the airport for his mission trip... from what i know, a pretty dangerous one, to some central asian backwater state. (Generally i think any state which name ends with an "istan" is a label for "somewhere in our history, we kinda screwed things up")... words cannot describe the respect i have for that bloke...

After the airport, bunking over at Alvin's place for a night of entertainment with the church guys: Champions League Finals

Slight concern: i dont really care much about the match. Just hope it aint boring. More worried abt the guys. 3 of 'em are gettin their asses handed to them in the army. The rest have lead relatively sheltered lives. Army WILL be a major culture shock. Just ask our 3 buddies: Cai Xiang, Wensley, Chin Guan. What will happen when they meet the majority of the singapore population? the bunch not academically able to enter JC? There are guys out there who are my age, already divorced with 2 kids... I dont exaggerate, i've been thru army. Will our guys shun these people? Yeah, i know it sounds like they're elitist, but they are young, they dont know better, not yet i hope. Can they accept their peers for who they are? Some failures in life aren't sins, and no sinner is beyond redemption.

I may have stepped down as the group leader of these guys, but it doesn't mean i dont care abt them.

Thursday: i gotta head down to redhill for a long overdue haircut. I'm starting to look like Shaggy. Not the Jamaican reggae Shaggy. The Scooby Doo Shaggy. I can cover a nostril with my fringe. Fret not... i wont show you that. However...

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The following scene is deemed unsuitable for pregnant women and young children
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*shrieks of terror fill the room*

Friday: Joash is on off... methinks we'll catch Pirates of the Curry-beans

jamie (CJC) is gonna pop by my church for a visit, Saturday nite. Can't wait.

As it looks, meetin up with 5hyan, Sunday afternoon. Can't wait even more so. Haven't met up since the Neolithic Age.

Things that worry me every-so-often: my wise-ass-ness means i can generally talk my way out of anything with my composure intact... but my muse might desert me when i need it most

I trust God with my worries. But it doesn't mean i don't worry... initially.

Cheers to a good final week of slacking! *raise wine glass*

production... i miss it ok?

2007-05-22T12:02:00.000+08:00

i've given u the sights... some might remember the sounds... all the crazy shit we pulled backstage.

unofficial anthem

it's lunchtime, i'm hungry we are ready to go
i wanna leave rehearsal but sufian says no
i hate UCC but what choice do i have?
i want my food, preferably macs.

anuja's nicknames... after her flailing arms never failed to smack guys in the crown jewels, makes u wonder if it was all accidental.

ball basher, groin groper, penis pincher, dick denter

nicknames of other cast members

bobo = xiaowei, coco = xiaohui, tata = me... yeah... sexy, naughty, bitchy me.

ok, thats enough reminiscing for one day... too much emo is bad for the system

cheers *raises wine glass*

I wish i was in a production again

2007-05-22T10:20:00.000+08:00

Last night i was just commissioned for Gen12ii Parable Project. Yup, my film-making course starts next Monday. Hopefully i can do somethin thought-provoking, to be able to express myself through the media of film.

Suddenly i am moved to memories of Hall Production 07. The musical that had the profoundest impact on my life in hall... being able to build a show from scratch, with peeps all focused on the same goal... rehearsing together... getting sick one by one... hahhaha. The last minute dance routines (i kid u not, we learnt the last routine in the night b4 opening nite). Oh well... film and stage might be pretty different, but i hope to diversify. Gotta get down to doing the things i love before work forces me to consider otherwise...

Some fotos from Hall Production 07... "It's Your Choice"

goofing off backstage

me n shiwei driven slightly mad by rehearsals... only slightly mad

totally lovin it... gettin out of the University Cultural Centre
me, ai ping, anuja, shiwei

daniel, me, sherri, aeron

the full cast... check out the double-level set behind us... i cant behind the stage crew actually built that from nothingness

me, sherri, vernon... check out our very gay make-up... the only thing i hate abt stage

song and dance... altho here it looks like "i dunno..."

this ese is loco...

i am ready for my close-up... lol

1 of many perks in drama... camera-whoring

this is my rifle, this is my gun

2007-05-22T10:08:00.000+08:00

the following excerpt is taken from a reliable news source, also known as Joash's blog:

guns are phallic symbols... and Singapore is moving towards shrinking our rifles.

"for better maneuverability in tight spots!" -official statement

(-_-'')... *gulps down glass of wine*

yay Australia boleh

2007-05-16T18:01:00.000+08:00

ok... throughout the years we have undoubtedly come across peeps who have dreams of moving down under... to the land of koalas, kangaroo's, anal-retentive customs officials, and fish 'n' chips the size of the average rhinoceros.

As a history major, it is of great interest to me that once upon a time, the Australian island was a dumping ground for depraved hardened criminals. They were apparently so abominable that the British Empire deliberately sent them as far away as geographically possible, so as to be rid of them forever and forever amen... Ironically, today almost every middle-class Singaporean has toyed with the idea of going there voluntarily... to live in peace and racial harmony with the descendants of... well nevermind.

In order to help our would-be emigrants adapt to the distinct Australian culture and colloquialisms, i have prepared the most beloved song in Australia with annotations for easy reference.

Waltzing Matilda
the unofficial Australian National Anthem

Once a jolly swagman(1) camped by a billabong,(2)
Under the shade of a Coolibah(3) tree,
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy(4) boil
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me,(5)
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Down came a jumbuck(6) to drink at that billabong
Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee,
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag(7)
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.(8)

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me,
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Up rode the squatter mounted on his thorough-bred(9)
Down came the troopers One Two Three(10)
Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tucker bag
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda Waltzing Matilda
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me
Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tucker-bag
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.(11)

Up jumped the swagman sprang in to the billabong
You'll never catch me alive said he,
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.(12)

------------------------------

(1)swagman: a bum

(2)billabong: a dry river bed, or a famous surfer brand

(3)coolibah: apparently... some kind of... tree

(4)billy: ummm... a smaller dry river bed?

(5)This line seems to indicate some kind of dancing, probably a waltz, possibly with someone named Matilda

(6)jumbuck: Oh COME ON! That can't possibly be a word!

(7)tucker-bag: haiz... you know what? Fuck this. "English-speaking" country, my ass.

(8)I find this whole stanza very disturbing, watevadahell a jumbuck is...

(9)okay... I have absolutely no idea why this squatter has a thorough-bred

(10)apparently he has links with either the Storm Troopers or the Starship Troopers

(11)I'm not familiar with the Australian code of law... But i think the penalty for shoving a "jumbuck" in a "tucker-bag" is to go have a waltz with Matilda and a squatter.

(12)The Aussies think having a waltz with Matilda and a squatter is a fate worse than death. Beats me why they wrote a song about it.

Dream a little dream

2007-05-16T13:41:00.000+08:00

I recently had a dream that i could play the piano.
As in, really play... beyond playing by ear... actually hammering those keys, giving form and substance to all the music in my head. I pretty much forgot what the rest of the dream was about, but the scene with me playing the piano was so vivid... so real that i woke up still feeling extremely pleased with myself.
heh... needless to say, i can't play the piano in real life... but i can play the guitar. I'm still working on trying to play the guitar by ear. But scheisse... the piano is in my opinion, the greatest instrument ever humanly created. It can transmit so much accent and emotion... pity the damn thing is so huge. I like the guitar cos its portable and has an insane variety of add-ons to change the sounds it can create, but whoa... the piano's ability to put all your 10 fingers to work in making music... it still wins hands-down.
I wish i could play the piano... but realistically, i still have to work on playing the guitar by ear first.

Cheers *shrugs... raises wine glass*

Lookie what i found...

2007-05-16T02:11:00.000+08:00

going thru the disorganized junk on my com... i found a few that some might remember... heh... some pics from 2006 church camp and Storm in a Fishbowl production team holiday..

do you find this disturbing? I find this disturbing...
"Er... my brain is about... this big"
Daesiree, Phoebe, Clement

Go Go PowerRangers!

wei xuan, janice, ben, phoebe, wensley, yanyi
going all broadway in the hotel lobby

we may look happy, but we're actually terribly lost somewhere in Bintan

we adopted these poor girls from the gutter

They attempted to communicate...

They weren't... you know... "normal"

This is what you get after taking directions from Michelle...
Will we ever get back to civilization?
This was 1 of many hills we perspired over, in the cycling trip to end all cycling trips.

Fortunately, we are tough, manly men, ever ready to overcome all odds!

Cheers!* raises wine glass*

blurp

2007-05-16T02:04:00.000+08:00

I wanna waste time with you

*raises wine glass*

So long, so busy, so beat, so blah... SO OVER THAT SHITE!

2007-05-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

Cripes! i cant believe how long i've stopped bloggin. I used to blog under stress... but somehow i got so busy that i couldnt even blog...

anyways... as most would have noticed... THE EXAMS ARE OH-VA!

now i can spend time reminescing about how downright rushed and busy this whole damn sem was... THANK GOD its over... the great thing about hindsight is that its easier to be reminded of the roses and the shit... cos while your wading up to your neck in shit, u tend to overlook the roses.

Lost in a blur of activity, sapped to within an inch of my being...

here's da scoop: Mar 30th, was my first stage production as a producer. Once again i'd landed myself in a production with 2 roles, (3 if you count my voice heard in the mango tree play) . Thats a record of 3 productions in a row. I cameo-ed as nihara's nameless bf....... ok stop laughing... i noe we is inter-racially scandalous...

I squeezed back into the o'l St Patricks uniform... the main gripe was the fact that I had a research paper due at 23:59 that same night... perhaps the wear was showing... hmmm... it was a poor foto... sorry i didnt smile enuf with our talented script writer, Danielle.

stress, stress, stress, at least found the heart to have many a good laugh. Especially at scenes like this: Anuja giving Benny's sarong a "check-up", or so they say...

here's a toast to our full cast!

another toast to our loyal A-block supporters, many of whom also had assignments due...

This was my last production of the sem. Damn... it really drained me. And the blah-dee exams where barely 4 weeks away, looming over my head like vultures waiting for me to croak.... Sometimes I wonder if I did one production too many... didn't need the points, my place in hall for next sem was secure by then... haiz... but I've spent time doing things I enjoy. Chances like these may never show up again once I start working. My grades probably suffered, but grades never gave me joy quite like acting.

Realization of the day: I am a stage-whore.... and loving it....

Best Quote during production: "Ian! You're from St Pats?! So you should be a father of two by now right?" - Anuja

cheers! *raises wine glass*

This downloadable update is to verify that your version of ian is authentic

2007-03-26T12:04:00.000+08:00

ever wake up every so often, feelin that you've been faking it for ages and you're absolutely terrified that someone's gonna find you out for the big fake-o that you really are?

yeah, i've had those days before.

Over the weekend I'm happy to report that i've woken up feeling that i've been the most genuine i've ever been for several weeks. Thank God. Been prayin that i can stay true. Had a pretty peaceful weekend, slept well.

Its Monday now. Monday hit me hard. I've kicked off the day by accidentally upseting a friend. It wasn't mean or even... negative. Just tryin to be honest, in my own stupid haha way. I still consider it my screw up, cos i didn't intend for it to turn out like that. Still just trying to be honest. i always believed if your heart is in the right place, your honesty won't hurt others. Still believing. Just kinda shaken............ whoops.

haiz.... i wish i could better understand ppl's feelings.

Here's a toast to honesty. Monday can kiss my ass. *raises wine glass, it's half empty*

Honestly - by Cartel

Please don't mind what I'm trying to say 'cause I'm, I'm being honest
When I tell you that you
You're part of the reason I'm so set on the rest of my life
Being a part of you
You tell me what you think about being open,
About being honest with yourself

'Cause things will never be the same.

So I guess I'll see you, I'll see you around
I'm spinning while I'm falling down
Now you know why I'm begging you to stay

Well don't waste time getting to the point, 'cause I'm, I'm patiently waiting
For your next phone call, your next excuse for losing sleep again
Tell me what you think about being open,
About being honest with yourself

'Cause things will never be the same

So I guess I'll see you, I'll see you around
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
I'm spinning while I'm falling down
Now you know why I'm begging you to stay

'Cause I can't stop it now
It's so amazing how
I know I cant, I could never walk away

How can we resolve this now
We let it go, and wonder how
This can never be the same
Can never be the same

So I guess I'll see you, I'll see you around
I'm spinning while I'm falling down
Now you know why I'm begging you, I'm begging!

'Cause I can't stop it now,
It's so amazing how,
I know I cant, I could never walk away.

Please don't mind what I'm trying to say, 'cause I'm, I'm being honest.

Best add-on this year

2007-03-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

despite how much i luv music, somehow i've always hated blog music. Especially those that auto-play. The point is, i usually have iTunes or somethin playin while the com is on, same goes for when i actually blog-surf.
Nothing sounds worse than 2 songs playin out of the same speakers. (with the exception of the sound of a very large man puking his guts right behind your head)

Well, i finally got the necessary iota of knowledge to get the simpliest player i could find, and figure how to turn off the autoplay. Along the way i discovered cool scrolling lyrics templates as well. Damn, i feel good. Actually learnt somethin useful to everyday life today.
The downside is that i could have used the time to start on any of my 3 research papers due in a week... heh.

So with i tinge of remorse, i present to you my flavor of the week/month. Embedded humbly on the sidebar. Click to play, nothing fancy. The song which has the privilege to be the first song on this latest of add-ons is:
"Flathead" by The Fratellis.

Brilliant song. Hell, this could be my personal anthem. at least for now. I'd be pretty worried if i still empathize so deeply with the lyrics 5 years down the road.

Cheers! *raises glass of gin*

utter randomness

2007-03-06T00:45:00.000+08:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I trust...

2007-03-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

Jesus

Cos He knows me,
sees what i'm going thru,
and He'll see me thru.

Cheers indeed. *raises wine glass*

Look Mom! No hands!

2007-02-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

Wakka wakka!.... im suddenly back to bloggin again. It's raining outside and my room in hall is pissin cold. what's my age again? problem with being born in dec is that everyone else seems older than you. im 23... wait, 22... err... 23 this year. Hall production finished about 3 weeks back. Once again i have time to hear myself think. Sometimes i wish my head had nicer things to say.

Youth in church think im ancient. Am i ancient? i do reminese over the pre-Synthesis days, or the Nissi days, which was pretty much geological ages ago. (Nissi was the church youth movement up till abt 2001-02.)

Well, i think foldly of those times for a reason. During my teenage years i walked smack into the the dissolution of Nissi... Nissi was great for a reason. We loved people. We loved new faces. We wanted to hear your story. We wanted to see you smile. We loved people we never even friggin met before. We spent afternoons givin out tracks at MRT stations. We could even love assholes. How did it all end? i guess among other things, it was all taken for granted.

i walked outta NS into a new battlefield. I rallied with the survivors of the fall of Nissi. We formed the YEC. We fought for a new dream, the Synthesis, and the youth service. It was 2005. i've been fighting since 2005. I walked outta those damn green barbed wire fences with big dreams, not just for church, big personal dreams too. Fighting... no one can ever fault me for not trying. Crikey, im tired.

Come 2007, Synthesis is here. Youth service is inevitable. Heck, even some of the Nissi gang are back in the bilingual service. But we ain't there yet! can we love the way Nissi loved? The fight is not over... its time for new blood to go out and show what it means to be Christian. How long must the post-20 year olds do the Peter Pan thing? Church life, personal life, haiz... too interlinked to do seperate posts.

Bah! i don't fit in... i never intended to, didn't anyone notice?

Almost 2 years since i left NS. These 2 years i've seen the greatest successes and the most spectacular failures ever. Interestingly enough, i feel my greatest achievements were on stage. Storm in a Fishbowl - Synthesis production. It's Your Choice - KR Hall production. Greatest failures? My 3 month foray into network marketing, finishing my 3rd sem at a worrying CAP of 3.27, and overall, not feeling like a success story.

i had hoped a blog post in 2007 would go something like... " ian, established 2006". Nope. Not established. If i walked out of those grubby NS gates, and i had a crystal ball lookin at me in 2007, whoa... i'd be sad. Sad because i'd see myself still fighting personal battles.

I dunno... have i won? Where am i? Am I any closer to God's plan? Are my expectations too high? After all i've done, did i bring meaning to people's lives? Who sees me for what i truly am? who can i really be honest to? who loves me back?

Jesus loves me this i know. Someday i'll understand, someday i'll know the answers. Jesus da boss says its not yet time... not yet time to understand.

Ahh... KR production, fond memories indeed. Late nights, sickies, encouragement, sudden outbursts of insanity... and reliance on God to pull us thru.

I wish i was a kid again. Back when the little things made me happy. Back when i thought that i could do anything as long as i put my mind to it.

Look Mom! No Hands! im still at it. Faced between doing something and doing nothing, i'd prefer to err on the side of doing something. Defeats have bruised me, bloodied my nose, shook my belief in myself. But i just gotta be me.

Enough about the past already!!!!! SHUT UP!!! I'M... STILL... STANDING!!!

Next stop:
-Dramafest inter-hall production: Colours
-Gen12 Parable Project with Campus Crusade. evangelism via video-making.

Cheers anyone? i REALLY need a refill. *waves an empty glass*

Quizzical moment

2007-01-30T01:25:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: December 3

You are certain and confident when you choose to love someone.
Even though your romantic choices may be unconventional - you stand behind them.
Your friends never know you as well as a romantic partner does.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 3

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5

You are most compatible with people born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, and 30th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Haiz... its just one of those weird quizzes where you stare at the results and you don't know whether to laugh or cry. heh.

Hall productions is the main focus of my life now, like it or not. Overall, its a great experience. Havin fun, gettin crazy, acting, getting high, creating new moves, new songs. But the hours.. oooh the hours... 8pm to 12am almost every night. Get high to prepare for the role, get exercise during dance routines, concentrating on details/lines/stage movement. By the time i'm back in my room, too high to fall asleep for an hour... even tho i'm dead tired. Next day i'll be high due to lack of sleep, or zombified if i get enough sleep. (usually "enough" is subjective enuf to keep me in bed till i'm hungry for lunch... damn)

In a way, i wish this was not my main focus, but we really need the practice to get things lookin good. Kinda wish i had more time to myself, to spend wif others. Heh, no offense to the production team, i love y'all too... In a way still fortunate, becos my original idea was to sign up for assistant director. And i know for a fact he gets way less sleep than i do.
I ended up doing two jobs again, this time as song writer and ensemble. I wasn't forced. I was content wif getting the song writer role, but they sooo needed a male ensemble and the offer was too good to miss. I'm such a stage whore.

The making of "It's Your Choice" KR production 2007 is now on youtube. Catch it only if u want spoilers...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9cdg66elwy
Here's some of my own: i'll be drunk... again (I'M SOO STUCK IN THIS STEREOTYPE EVER SINCE MY AUDITIONS)
another thing: the music is really impressive (trust a musician's point of view)

Guess what, i'm already working on the next inter-hall dramafest: Colours
I'm currently producer, but i hear they still need another male lead. I'm so screwed if they start asking me really nicely.

Cheers! *raises bottle of Absolut Vodka*

The Prank of the Year

2007-01-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

It was December 31^st, the last day of year 2006. Some friends and I numbering around 9 guys and 5 girls decided to bunk at a friend's place to celebrate the countdown to New Year's Day.

After the festivities, the guys gathered for torrid game of circle of death with forfeits downing vodka sprite and Sapporo beer. Our host vowed to choke-slam anyone who dared to take a puke in his house, so we predictably knocked it off early and hit the sack around 2am, sprawling ourselves across the living room in a tipsy stupor. (No one had ever seen our host in question do a choke-slam, but judging by his menacing physique, no one wanted to tempt fate either)

After waking the next day, we hobbled around the house for like half an hour before someone noticed something was amiss. Phoebe burst out laughing. The undersides of Ben's toes all had smileys! Drawn in blue marker! Then we noticed that ALL the guys had it too! I, Melvin, and Eddie the host escaped untouched. The only reason I escaped was because my feet pressed up against the DVD player all night. (I pity the next person using the DVD player)

Suddenly I became a prime suspect! (I have a long history of pranks, but you really shouldn't judge me by my background) Nobody really bought my DVD story, but the last straw was when Clement noticed a blue marker jutting out from beneath my beanbag.

So I was taupok-ed on New Year's Day. Helpless beneath a pile of bodies, Wei Xuan drew huge smileys on my feet and wrote "GUILT" across my ten toes. Literally the mark of guilt. This would have been fine with me but I WAS NOT THE CULPRIT! With my protestations of innocence till the end, they figured it had to be someone else.

So we looked at the suspect line up again.

The girls - couldn't have done it, but none were victims

Eddie - recently married, unlikely to return to childish pranks, not a victim

Joshua, Alvin - too nice, no prank history, victims

Melvin - an absolute saint, no prank history, not a victim

Wei Xuan, Clement - moderate prank history, victims

Ben, Wensley - high prank history, but very tipsy last night, victims

Judging by history of pranks, whoever did it must have even gone through the trouble of drawing smileys on his own toes. This prank definitely required the expertise of more than 1 culprit. So we checked our smileys for handwriting anomalies, and anomalies we found... on Clement.

We dragged Clement onto the beanbag and held him down for interrogations. Some of the guys pulled out leg hairs. I found a remote control which made a loud nasty smacking noise when slapped against naked flesh. After being falsely accused, I was over-zealous in finding the real culprit. I tapped it threateningly on his inner thigh. A typical interrogation went like this...

Suspect: Ah! I didn't go it!

Me: Don't struggle. You don't want me to miss and hit something else, do you?

Suspect: No no!

Me: Good... so who did it?

Suspect: I dunno! Ah!! (His leg hairs get plucked)

Me: come on! Does this remote control jog your memory? (I smack it on my palms to scare him)

Suspect: I really don't know!

Me: WRONG ANSWER!

*SMACK* (the sound of plastic meeting inner thigh, I pity the next person who wants to use the remote)

Suspect: AAAAHHH!! OK OK! I know! I know!

Me: that's not good enough, we need names!

Suspect: err... Ben did it! Ben did it!

Ben: Hey wait... I was too drunk last night to do...

All: GRAB HIM!

(We proceed on to new suspect and process repeats itself...)

We soon went through everyone who had a history in pranks. No new leads. Everyone else answered questions calmly without interrogation. Our suspicious grew wilder. Maybe the girls did it? Maybe even Melvin the saint? Or Eddie the host?

We were in the midst of planning an interrogation method that can be used on girls, when suddenly Wei Xuan says, "I have a confession to make."

So we drag Wei Xuan to the beanbag of interrogation.

Me: So who did it?

WX: I'd err... like to retract my statement...

All: WHAT?!

WX: I dunno! Ah!! (His leg hairs get plucked)

Me: Why suddenly speak up now?! Which girl are you trying to protect?! Who are you trying to protect?!

WX: I really don't know!

Me: WRONG ANSWER!

*SMACK*

Suspect: AAAAHHH!! I really, really don't know!!

We get tired of this, Wei Xuan won't crack. This prank has been simple but deadly. It made all the former pranksters turn against each other. Despite the brilliance of the prank, no one wants to claim credit. Finally we offer amnesty to anyone who confesses, mainly because we're too tired of torturing each other. Lo and behold, Wei Xuan confesses again.

Wei Xuan was in cahoots with Clement. After drawing on us at night, Clement attempted to draw on his own feet but it was untidy. So they drew on each other's feet. That explained the handwriting change. Phoebe woke up and saw them doing it, but chose to keep quiet. Wei Xuan said he was "this close" to cracking, but was more scared of either Clement or Phoebe confessing first. Clement stuck the marker beneath my beanbag because he couldn't draw on my feet.

Truly a prank to remember! On the first day of the year 2007!
Cheers! *raises a glass of Sapporo*

when two goalkeepers start talking

2006-11-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

the following is extracted from an sms conversation between me and my cousin shawn... enjoy...

shawn: hey micah richards is in today's New Paper. Did u see it? it seems he's growing pretty damn fast

me: i saw online... Apparently he's been called up for england's next game

shawn: yeah. the New Paper has a whole page about the wonderkid. haha. hey by the way, free for soccer this week? We're running out of good goalies and we need you

me: seems ok this sat... i'll make it

shawn: Great. i think its better to meet at Republic Poly itself. See ya there at 10am. Oh and think you could bring your ball? its a damn nice ball. Nicer than my balls. Haha.

me: Hmmm... means i gotta go home and take it... how come no one else has balls? Haha

Shawn: oh sorry then no need to bring your balls. i forgot you're in school. Actually we all have balls, just not as nice as your ball. Wahahaha!

me: Hahah! ok, on sat we'll play with their balls... Hahahaha!

Shawn: WaHahaHaha! Eh cannot anyhow play balls ah. Haha if you wanna play then play with your own. Oh but then you left yours at home ah? Haha!

me: Aiyah... too cumbersome to carry ard... So i'll use when necessary... Anyway im sure ur frens dun mind me kickin their balls ard... i've done it b4...

Shawn: Wahaha! Your balls are detachable? Amazing. Did you get yours at toys'r'us too? Wahaha! Yeah we like to share our balls and kick each other's around for kicks

Me: Nah... Got mine from world of sports... Officially fifa certified!... Dont u just hate it when balls hit ur face?

Shawn: Never had balls in my face before... You tell me! Haha! Ok enough ball talk. Will see you on saturday. Night and sweet dreams of balls!

as u can see, we are very enthusiastic about balls... im sure u are too... considering u actually read the whole thing.

im actually very innocent one...huh huh huh... cheers! *raises wine glass*

we who laugh the hardest

2006-11-02T12:54:00.000+08:00

This is not good

KR Culture Night was the most fun i had in weeks. I forged new bonds with so many new friends. I became a celebrity for a night, possibly longer. So for Tues nite and Wed morn i still felt woozy from the high. We had an accomplished performance by practicing like crazy for 2 weeks plus. We had rave reviews. We did it. All we had set out to do. And i got to know so many new hall peeps. Sure, the studies suffered, but who cares?! I thought i could get back to some normalcy. Sheesh, Why d'you have to kick me when im high?

Nothing bites me quite like bad luck with girls. I mean hey, if someone's at fault, its easier to draw lessons. But there's really no one to blame here except luck. and No, i aint gonna elaborate online, if ur actually concerned, ask me yourself.

i try to rationalise the situation, making it akin to a bird shitting on ur head. U don't think so much, shit just happens and u brush it off. When it involves a girl, the mind just goes into philosopher-mode. FUCK. Its like a carrot on a string dangling in front of you. And just when u reach out for it, Lady Luck gives the string a good yank. If the process is repeated too often, u just dont feel like jumping for the carrot anymore.

I have personal policies. 2 of which are:
a) i'll never watch a movie in a cinema alone
b) i'll never drink alcohol alone

last night i broke (b)., hmmm...maybe half-broke. I nursed a lonely beer while the other 4th-floor guys were havin a maggi mee supper. They commented i was looking like Brian (my culture night character). Felt shitty cos i started to think so too. After they left, only the PRC guy actually asked me how i was feelin. I realised i had reached the proverbial pits. So I just drank, imagining my sorrows sliding down my throat and into my stomach. There, they get digested by my stomach acids so i can shit them out the next day.

In my room around 12.40am, i call Joash. Our chat goes from my problems to his problems, from my past to his past, to the church, to the church work and the church peeps. It was an almighty bitchfest. Finished around 2.50am. Feel so "girl". Now i know why they talk on the phone so long. Its fucking theraputic. There's direction again. I can take the shit.

Sometimes i wonder if my talents also lay in enduring the shit that life brings. Its a talent i least wish to exercise. Sometimes i wonder if i'll be happier if i wanted less things, desired less. Sometimes I look at those no-life study-freaks and wonder if all they need to be happy are their "A" grades.

No,i am proud to be who i am. Even if it means i have to endure more shit. I have things to do, missions to fulfill, leaders to train, my own standards to meet. I thank God for who i am. I thank God i dont have to go in this alone. Other carrots are hanging around. i'll jump when im less tired. in the meantime, there are 2 essays due on Monday, the 2000-worders.

People like me and Joash are rare, our outlook on life fused with our dependence on Jesus. We make a joke out of anything. We who laugh the hardest, also wonderfully adept at hiding our pain.

Im also wondering how Marcus is doing, havent seen him in ages.

Cheers? Give me another beer first... *raises empty bottle of heineken*

____________________________________________

"Jackie" - by Bossa Nostra (i hope i got the lyrics right)

Umm um umm um
Jackie has a thing
Even if the thing is not so hot
She knows right now its all shes got
And she can make it swing

Jackie has a past
Even if shes trying to forget
Between the stage lights and the sweat
Oh she will blow the past away

La la la la la
Life is just a lonely night of cindering
La la la la la
Like a long lost child who's on its own again
La la la la la
Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain
Gotta find a way to bear the strain
Jackie sings her pain
Umm um umm um

Papa was so strong
Yes he was a strong and charming man
And Jackie could not understand
How you feel so wrong

At the Paradise
Even if the pay is not so great
And jackie has to work till late
By night she sings her pain away

La la la la la
Life is just a lonely night of cindering
La la la la la
Like a long lost child who's on its own again
La la la la la
Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain
Gotta find a way to bear the strain
Jackie sings her pain
Umm um umm um

Jackie works her batch
Every single song she sings is slow
And when the crowd begins to go
She starts from scratch

La la la la la
Life is just a lonely night of cindering
La la la la la
Like a long lost child who's on its own again
La la la la la
Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain
Gotta find a way to bear the strain
Jackie sings her pain
Umm um umm um

Irony of ironies

2006-10-19T17:49:00.000+08:00

Thats it, i've brought Mr. TagBoard out to the backyard and gave it 2 bullets in the head. Rest in peace.

Some weeks ago, i co-wrote the KR Culture Night script with Danielle and Yuanjie. As a requirement, i fleshed-out the main character (Brian), whom i dare say, was the most loser-rific creation that has ever passed through my imagination. I took great pride in making him drunk in 2 outta 9 scenes, having him fall/get knocked over in almost every scene, hell, plainly speakin, he the uber-wimp with the worst luck on the planet. AND his quest is to win over the leading lady. Oh well, i won't be puttin up spoilers.

As my own crazy luck would have it, i finished a few hours before deadline (meaning at 5am in the morning). Then some days later, whilst i was still feeling mighty pleased with meself creating a whole new level of loser, i get an sms.

Danielle: "Anuja asks if you can act as Brian for culture nite haha :)"

After my initial shock and some lengthy persuasion, i agreed to it. I swear i must have been really drunk or really bored or both.

Rehearsals are in full swing, and somehow, the stage movement actually made Brian EVEN MORE loserific than i had ever envisioned.

I pray i can get past this alive. Or with some reputation intact. Director Sebastian is already used to calling me "Brian" instead of ian. *shudder*

life is fun. B'cos God has a sense of humor.

Cheers! *raises wine glass, trying to remember my lines*

Announcement

2006-10-13T16:09:00.000+08:00

For some weird reason, tag-board.com is down, hard to say for how long, so i've put in a second tag box. yeah, sentimental me can't bear to remove the long-serving old one until i have proof of death.

in the meantime, "ON THE OTHERSIDE" section had a major update, new/old/ancient funny videos available for your viewing pleasure.

Joash and I have joined the cult of Cthulhu.
A 300 ft tall antromorphic monster with bat wings and a squidhead. hahahaha
Apparently he also created the world. HAHAHAHAHAH
when he returns from the sea, he'll destroy the world by making everyone mad.
Surprisingly, this dude, a creation of Fantasy-horror writer HP Lovecraft has made it pretty deep into western popular culture.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu_in_popular_culture

i have personally seen a Cthulhu cameo appearance in "Ghostbusters" (the really old cartoon version), references were made in the movie "Hellboy" and in "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy"

Our recent stupid craze came after watching the insanely retarded Cradle of Filth live performance of "Cthulhu Dawn"
Everything you'd expect the stereotypical metal-head to do, well... they did! They did it so awfully that they've become silly to the point of self-parody!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNckGCuO1nU

Crazy, the whole idea behind Cthulhu was so original (and hilarious) , Joash and I are milking the web for every Cthulhu media we can get our intrusive hands on.
this is the cutest so far, it features a Cthulhu talk-show using a hand puppet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DsgZ4JXXB8

Cheers! I wanna Cthulhu hand puppet! *raises wine glass*

slices of life (continued)

2006-10-13T13:55:00.000+08:00

IBG Captain's Supper Nite = Uniform Nite!!

i indulged in shameless cockster poses all night, but can't say i was the worst.
Bigger freakshows set to take the stage.

Nevermind...

This is discipline!

Whereas this is punishment...

Don't stare at strangers...

Hmmm... hall taupoks are about 54 times worse than taupoks in church...

k la... more slices of life comin once i find the other A-block photo-fanatics... in the meantime this should get fidel off my back for a few more days... she claims my life is damn funny so she wants me to update more. Hey readers, the fact of the matter is that life is friggin hilarious, its all a matter of how hard you look, how you look at things, and whether you personally bother to create some stupid fun for yourself.

i swear that girl is crazy, this abstract was taken from her blog

<------recording start----------->

fidel: damn funny, before that i was looking then dunno why suddenly grow grow grow
then become so big! i thought is shit leh!
BUT NO! it's HIS DICK!

desmond: hahas so pervert go zoo not look animal is look private part one!

fidel: i saw one cow laggi more funny!
the balls saggy until gonna reach the floor already,
shd have taken the picture luhh. hahahahahahs

desmond: wahh piang u abit scary leh, dun dare to go out with u liao
wait u dunno check out where >.<

<-----------Recording end----------------------->

hehee, steamy zebra. Kids not allowed! LOLS, i bet it steamed or whatever, one minute it was that short, then another minute it became this LONG!

The following abstract is my personal online experience

<------recording start----------->

A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
fidel has a zebra fetish

·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS !

[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
u....sick....bastard!

·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
HEY! you're a zzzeeebra tooooo
·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
spastic zebra!

[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
hahahahhahha!
[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
NOOOOO!

·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
hahahahahahahahahahahahhas !

[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
stop mentally un-dressing me!!

·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! LOLSS!!!
·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
!!!

[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
ZEBRA FETISH

You have failed to receive file "07102006579.jpg" from ·$19 ❤ steamy zebra

·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
AIYAH!

[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
aiyah...nvm la.. i dun wanna see steaming zebras
[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
unlike SOME ppl i know....
[A-ngels A-rmy] the Tao of the ian (0_o) silly to the point of self-parody says:
hahahahahhahh!

·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
my blog also have!
·$19 ❤ steamy zebra says:
hahahahahahhaaa!

<-----------Recording end----------------------->

sure i have tests, homework and meet anal-rententive deluded-fruitcakes, just like everyone else. But hey, why should i blog about those??

In the words of Jesus, my one and only Boss:

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

John 10:10

Barclay's Daily Study Bible notes:

The Greek phrase used for having it more abundantly means to have a superabundance of a thing. To be a follower of Jesus, to know who he is and what he means, is to have a superabundance of life.
A Roman soldier came to Julius Caesar with a request for permission to commit suicide. He was a wretched dispirited creature with no vitality.
Caesar looked at him. "Man," he said, "were you ever really alive?"
When we try to live our own lives, life is a dull, dispirited thing. When we walk with Jesus, there comes a new vitality, a superabundance of life. It is only when we live with Christ that life becomes really worth living and we begin to live in the real sense of the word.

A-block cell group was on last night, peeps! This is a pleasant reminder to share what Jesus brought ya!

Cheers y'all! *raises wine glass*

slices of life (Kent Ridge Hall DND costume party)

2006-10-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

Cheers! [A-ngel A-rmy] *raises wine glass*

Mid-term break

2006-09-30T01:02:00.000+08:00

Darn, the end of my holidays is approachin. Thank God i finished my work last saturaday at 3am so i could party my waking hours.

I've spent most of my free time in the following fashion:

25% script writing
10% getting naps i had long needed
10% socialising
10% general life admin: bloggin, read emails, frienster, flixter
10% moping over past BAD decisions
18% games, entertainment, watching soccer
4% excercise
5% fellowship
3% spendin time wif God
2% reading
3% practice guitar

Think i was high the whole of last week, cos this week i felt really shagged. For once i felt i was tired of being high, tired of being myself. Everytime i'm with friends my mental alertness shoots up, to be able to crack a joke about anythin that can come my way. Makin ppl laugh is one of my favorite hobbies, and being around ppl who talk provides no shortage of input.
man... as much as i felt i needed this week to spend some time alone, i wish i didn't spend so much of it moping. Goes against my ideals. Gotta move on. But the past has a way of grabbing you. Kinda difficult to forget her, cos she was fun to be with. She lost my respect, but not my friendship. A pity, you can only change people who want to be changed. I'm reminded that God can do anything, change anyone, but He's got His own timing and agenda. I hope i am able to roll with it.

I do feel changed this week, been a long time since i felt that. My views about girls has become crystalized, defined in words present in my concious mind. Previously justa bunch of tangled thoughts in my subconcious. Pastor Fu-Man straightened it out in no uncertain terms.

View people through Jesus' eyes.
Jesus has a good destiny for all girls. God's will is for people to submit their lives for Jesus to change them.
Do we dare mess with this destiny?
Or are we there to help it become reality?

Counting my blessings: i've changed for the better, and finished a storyboard for a play which i dare say is pretty darn good. If KRX doesn't choose it, i can always keep it for a future client. Had a cool 26th Arts Club committee thank u dinner at the Parkview Holiday Inn Hotel. Haven't dressed up all glam-glam bling-bling in a while. Overall a pretty good week.

Cheers! *raises wine glass*

What WILL they say once I'm gone?

2006-09-01T02:26:00.000+08:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

This whole damn thing turned out strangely poetic for a quiz which strings a few random phrases together.

i walk a lonely road. i try to aim for the greater good. i try not to be selfish. let no one say i didn't try. i chose this road. It's a good one, it gives me the freedom to be who i am, and perhaps, what i was meant to be. Still, can't help but feel its a lonely road.

Fate smiles at me, all i can do is smile back.

Cheers *wry smile, raises wine glass*

BIG secrets! SECRET secrets!

2006-08-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

For awhile now i've taken my blog off my msn nick... cos it gives me an added illusion of privacy and secondly, my msn nick looks neater now... hahaha

i mean seriously, blogs ain't the best of places to store secrets. Hell, the friggin internet aint the best of places to store secrets. Just ask Al Qaeda readin the online US military manuals...

Some consolation to the secretive out there: everyone has secrets. Including me. A secret which threathens to rock my very way of life, and those closest to me. "Rock", in this case, has yet to be judged as a good or bad thing. But it sure as hell is a scary thing.

This secret must die. Either i expose it, or i erase the truth in it. Its only scary as long as it remains true.

Whats the big secret? *freaky grin*
err... Cheers! *raises wine glass, sticks out tongue*

The Zephyr Song
Artist(Band):Red Hot Chili Peppers

Can I get your hand to write on
Just a piece of lead to bite on
What a night to fly my kite on
Do you want to flash your light on
Take a look it’s on display - for you
Coming down no not today

Did you meet your fortune teller
Get it off with no propellor
Do it up it’s on with Stella
What a way to finally smell her
Pickin' up, if not too strong - for you
Take a piece and pass it on

Fly away on my zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We’ll find a place together
Fly on my wing

Rebel and a liberator
Find a way to be a skater
Rev it up to levitate her
Super friendly aviator
Take a look it’s on display - for you
if by some dumbass twist of fate
i die b4 its out, clue: "aw... the ibg"
Coming down no not today

Fly away on my zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We’ll find a place together
In the water where I center my emotion
All the world can pass me by
Fly away on my zephyr
We’ll find a place together

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa- do you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa- won’t you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Fly away on my zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We’ll find a place together

In the water where I center my emotion
All the world can pass me by
Fly away on my zephyr
We’re gonna live forever
Forever

ONE HUNDRED

2006-08-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

i cant believe it, blog entry number 100. At this weird time of my life. I just finished "Storm in a Fishbowl" last month and moved into Kent Ridge Hall today.

"Storm in a Fishbowl" was what i consider as the most meaningful accomplishment of my life. Seriously. Qualifying for a place in NUS FASS runs in a close 2nd... It was a musical which in my eyes, signalled the end of an era in my church. The Church of the Good Shepherd was a sleepy, inward-looking neighbourhood church, the church my family and later, i, grew up in.

At the turn of the new millenium, i sensed all was not well. The youth raised voices of dissent that the stlye was too ancient. They worried the church could not keep up with the times. They were well-meaning people, but the old foggies suppressed our new ideas. In some respects we had good case, the church youth had strunk in number over the last few years, something had to be done. Lack of support drove out many a disillusioned member. My generation disappeared before my very eyes. Sometimes i wanted to leave, but strangely, God inspired me to stay in the very place i had labelled as being "hopeless".

Suddenly out of army, i was challenged to join the youth committee. Perhaps a chance to change things. So the few of us battled on, slowly building on what youth we had. A year passed. Then we embarked on the most ambitious project the church had ever seen, a musical set to entertain 800. Many baulked the massive scale of it, me included. We even roped in 13-14 year-olds, nagging doubts in my mind questioned if we would succeed where my own generation had failed.
But despite the odds, we pulled thru. In the space of a few years, God had dragged our asses out of the wilderness and back on track. Way beyond what my peers had ever done. Downright miraculous. No better word to describe it. What next? Youth Service! Onwards!

i took a well deserved holiday in Bintan with Melvin, Michelle n Phoebe.

Back to school, joined the O-week com and had a blast. Suddenly on friday, Kent Ridge Hall calls me up and says they've got a room for me. Brilliant. One blast after another. One year of waiting list and i suddenly get a place. Thanks to Marcus la. I've settled in nicely to my room, and the hostelites have been great. Tis been a strange year of crazy ups n downs, and it ain't gonna be over any time soon.

Cheers! Happy Blog Centennial! *raises wine glass*

the voice of uncertainty

2006-06-30T03:40:00.000+08:00

Head: Dude, be serious, try that and you risk everything you've been working towards for the past few years.

Heart: we can do it... it has to happen, why not soon?

Head: If you won't listen to reason, we'll let gut be the tie breaker.

Gut: No comment.

Head: C'mon!! You always had a feeling when we get stuck like this!

Hands: hey... we did the working, we deserve a say.

Head: Fair enough.

Hands: we say we forge a new beginning.

Head: You mean.... oh shit... noooo....

Feet: Been there, done that.

Head: NO WE HAVEN'T! It's different this time! Last time, 6 months went down the crapper, you really wanna put everything on the line this time?

Feet: Ha! Last time you agreed!

Head: Less was at stake last time!

Hands: U think we can't do it.

Head: The big difference seperating me and u dolts is the fact that I THINK! Everytime Heart fires u guys up to do somethin, u all think ur fucking invincible.

Feet: From our records, we have seldom met an obstacle we couldn't beat.

Head: Do u even remember the pain of defeat?

Gut: Fate didn't side us the last time. U are too quick to relegate the last 6 months as waste.

Eyes: WE saw no dividends...

Heart: Just because u can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Eyes: Rhetoric serves little to light the path. We saw only your pain, and we remember. You hurt the most among us.

Heart: i ached becos Head spent 3 months telling me to quit.

Head: If i didn't, no one would. AND we'd still be wasting time chasing an impossible dream.

Heart: Ian's dreams have changed since then.

Hands: Remember the joy? when we weaved his new dreams into reality? Creating something from nothing... "Storm in a Fishbowl" the musical and so on... where were THOSE before we embarked upon their making?

Head: Yes. I seek to protect those dreams. Don't u?

Feet: To what end? another bygone tale to tell the grandchildren? Ian needs a new adventure, a new dream.

Head: This new dream, it frightens me so...

Balls: Just do it.

Head, Heart, Gut, Feet: SHUT UP!!!

Balls: Hey, just stating an opinion. No need to get anal.

Feet: Listening to YOU has caused nothing but trouble.

Hands: Destroying the results of Ian's dream would be a massive feat. Cos God was involved its making.

Head: if any hand shalt come against the results of Ian's dreams, i cannot allow it to be his own.

Hands: WE'D NEVER!

Head: Unwittingly maybe.

Heart: If we don't do it, Ian risks regretting it for the rest of his life.

Head: ...

Gut: Ian deserves only the best.

Head: Is this best?

Heart: Perhaps. The risk is great, but the dream... such a beautiful dream...

Hands: yes...... we've already started work on it...

Head: Without telling me?

Mouth: Call it a Freudian Slip.

Head: Bah... if we don't try, we'll never know. I wish God would offer an opinion.

Right Hand *raises wine glass*

Switchfoot - "Learing to Breathe"

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way

wake me up

2006-06-06T15:17:00.000+08:00

When I was younger, a teacher in St Patrick's taught me an important life lesson. Of all people, it was a math teacher. He told us life is governed by an all encompassing law of progression. And it could be summed up into 3 simple words.

Choices --> Decisions --> Consequences

Made perfect sense to my rational mind. People have choices, they make decisions and live with the consequences. One thing has to result from another. Idiots make shitty decisions and have to live with shitty consequences.

As I grew up, I also learnt to expect a certain X-factor which fits anywhere in the equation of life.

Shit Happens.

It just happens. It can happen anytime and doesn't have to originate with anything you ever did. Sometimes no one can be blamed, live with it. Everyone does.

But recently God taught me something new. All my lessons in life had been correct, but incomplete. And as with always, trying to teach a stubborn dude, you let him learn the hard way.

I was faced with a myriad of choices. Entering university meant I could change my life, mould it as I so pleased. And admittedly, sometimes I feel I made decisions I deeply regretted. I was many a time arrogant, self-centred, over-cautious or gung-ho, maybe foolish even. I even challenged God to teach me something new, haha, strangely, THAT I don't regret, because He answered my prayer, and I lived to tell of it. Oh well, back to the story... I was suddenly faced with the consequences of my actions months later, and it scared me shitless. SHITLESS. I SHIT U NOT.

I stared into the face of an unconquerable doom. A doom I had created. And I hated myself for it. I previously did not give hope much credit. Cos u can't eat hope. Hope gives no results. But at that moment when all hope is gone, I begged for it to return. And God returned hope to me.

I believe that all things fit together perfectly in the big picture, previously I believed I'll only see the big picture once I'm dead. Till I saw this verse:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. - Psalms 27:13

It fit my sentiments exactly. There was hope yet! I'd get to see a glimpse of the big picture, and get to tell of it. My glimpse for today was how my life had changed, how I've progressed, since the day I made that prayer full of pride. Ask Melvin, he was there, and yeah he was shocked when I made it. Haha... I wonder if he remembers. Indeed, this lesson in life was God's handiwork over many months.

Choices --> Decisions --> Consequences --> Redemption

When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah
I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah - Psalm 32:3-5

God answers:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. - Isaiah 43:2

Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. - Proverbs 16:3

Cheers! Persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed! *raises wine glass*

I am driving up 85
in the kind of morning
that lasts all afternoon
I'm just stuck inside the gloom

Four more exits to my apartment
but I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave this shit behind

Cuz I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdict-less life

Am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why why Georgia, why

I rent a room and I fill the spaces
with wood in places to make it feel like home
but all I feel's alone

It might be a quarter life crisis
justa a stirrin in my soul

either way
I wonder sometimes about the outcome
of a still verdict-less life

am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why why Georgia why

so what so I've got a smile on
but its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
don't believe me
don't you dare believe me
when I say I've got it down

everybody's just a stranger
but that's the danger in
going my own way
I guess it's a price I have to pay
still "everything happens for a reason"
is no reason not to ask yourself

If you are living it right
are you living it right
are you living it right

why tell me why---
why why Georgia why

John Mayer - "Why Georgia", studio ver.

The Powers that Be in English soccer have long feared this day

2006-06-01T12:03:00.000+08:00

Latest News

Shevchenko transfer completed

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 (UK time)

Chelsea Football Club can confirm that Andriy Shevchenko has signed from AC Milan for a club record fee.

Shevchenko completed a medical and agreed personal terms at Stamford Bridge today (Wednesday). He has signed a four year contract.

The former European Footballer of the Year said: “I am here for the challenge and the excitement of playing in the Premier League. I am going from one big club to another and joining a team of champions.

“There is a right moment to join a football club and I think I have arrived here at the perfect time. The Champions League has to be a realistic target for next season but it is not just about the Champions League. Chelsea is going for their third Premiership as well and I like the club's mentality of wanting to win every game they play.

“I have followed Mr. Mourinho's career carefully for the last few years and have been hugely impressed with the way he manages. He puts team ethic before individual expression which is the way I believe great teams are created. Had money been my motivation for coming, I would probably have stayed in Milan.

Name: Andriy Mykolayovych Shevchenko

Born: September 29, 1976, Dvirkivschyna, near Kiev

Height: 1.83 m (6ft)

Weight: 72kg (11.3st)

Career History

Chelsea Football Club 2006 - Sets Chelsea transfer record

AC Milan 1999 - 2006

Second highest scorer in Milan's history with 173 goals in 296 games
European Footballer of the Year 2004
Serie A Championship: 2004 Serie A Top Scorer: 2000, 2004 Italian Cup: 2003 Champions League: 2003 European Super Cup: 2003

Dynamo Kiev 1994 - 1999

Made professional debut in 1994 and netted 94 goals in 166 games for Dynamo Ukrainian Championship: 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995 Ukrainian Cup: 1998, 1996

International

Captain of the Ukrainian national team and has scored 28 goals in 63 internationals

European Record

Set the competition record with 52 Champions League goals in 90 games

Chelsea forever! *raises wine glass*