When I was younger, a teacher in St Patrick's taught me an important life lesson. Of all people, it was a math teacher. He told us life is governed by an all encompassing law of progression. And it could be summed up into 3 simple words.

Choices --> Decisions --> Consequences

Made perfect sense to my rational mind. People have choices, they make decisions and live with the consequences. One thing has to result from another. Idiots make shitty decisions and have to live with shitty consequences.

As I grew up, I also learnt to expect a certain X-factor which fits anywhere in the equation of life.

Shit Happens.

It just happens. It can happen anytime and doesn't have to originate with anything you ever did. Sometimes no one can be blamed, live with it. Everyone does.

But recently God taught me something new. All my lessons in life had been correct, but incomplete. And as with always, trying to teach a stubborn dude, you let him learn the hard way.

I was faced with a myriad of choices. Entering university meant I could change my life, mould it as I so pleased. And admittedly, sometimes I feel I made decisions I deeply regretted. I was many a time arrogant, self-centred, over-cautious or gung-ho, maybe foolish even. I even challenged God to teach me something new, haha, strangely, THAT I don't regret, because He answered my prayer, and I lived to tell of it. Oh well, back to the story... I was suddenly faced with the consequences of my actions months later, and it scared me shitless. SHITLESS. I SHIT U NOT.

I stared into the face of an unconquerable doom. A doom I had created. And I hated myself for it. I previously did not give hope much credit. Cos u can't eat hope. Hope gives no results. But at that moment when all hope is gone, I begged for it to return. And God returned hope to me.

I believe that all things fit together perfectly in the big picture, previously I believed I'll only see the big picture once I'm dead. Till I saw this verse:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. - Psalms 27:13

It fit my sentiments exactly. There was hope yet! I'd get to see a glimpse of the big picture, and get to tell of it. My glimpse for today was how my life had changed, how I've progressed, since the day I made that prayer full of pride. Ask Melvin, he was there, and yeah he was shocked when I made it. Haha... I wonder if he remembers. Indeed, this lesson in life was God's handiwork over many months.

Choices --> Decisions --> Consequences --> Redemption

When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah
I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah - Psalm 32:3-5

God answers:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. - Isaiah 43:2

Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. - Proverbs 16:3

Cheers! Persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed! *raises wine glass*

I am driving up 85
in the kind of morning
that lasts all afternoon
I'm just stuck inside the gloom

Four more exits to my apartment
but I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave this shit behind

Cuz I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdict-less life

Am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why why Georgia, why

I rent a room and I fill the spaces
with wood in places to make it feel like home
but all I feel's alone

It might be a quarter life crisis
justa a stirrin in my soul

either way
I wonder sometimes about the outcome
of a still verdict-less life

am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why why Georgia why

so what so I've got a smile on
but its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
don't believe me
don't you dare believe me
when I say I've got it down

everybody's just a stranger
but that's the danger in
going my own way
I guess it's a price I have to pay
still "everything happens for a reason"
is no reason not to ask yourself

If you are living it right
are you living it right
are you living it right

why tell me why---
why why Georgia why

John Mayer - "Why Georgia", studio ver.