__BEACH BUM__"The heart of a man is like deep water..." -Proverbs 20:5

Posts
Friday, October 26, 2007 + Prayer + Teach me oh Lord, to be the man You want me to be ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:43 AM (0) comments Wednesday, October 24, 2007 + 180 degrees + how the fuck did all this happen? i didnt sign up for the "turn-my-life-into-a-fucking-sitcom" scheme. now the outcome is gonna be soooo fucking predictable.... barely 2 days... and im gonna reverse my position and run back to her. Fucking embarrassing. Yet fucking predictable. I thought it was over. I even changed the blog music to commemorate the event. 1 conversation later, now everything is different. Brain definitely advises i get away while the going's good. But here i am left feeling grateful that i wasn't hasty. I hadn't publicized my feelings about ending everything yet. God i love her. she doesn't love me back much. Who knows if she ever will? in a nutshell. facts on the ground remain. no guarantees. I could be setting myself up for an even bigger fall. I am stupid. There is so much more to my life than this. yet here i am. I believe we have guardian angels. They watch over us to protect us. Right now mine must be wondering how crazy these humans are. And I always thought of myself as a rational thinker. yet when i think of how much she means to me... perhaps i can take being made a clown just this once. I've always been an entertainer. will everything be different? how long can ian persevere b4 the fire is spent? i'll decide tml. Friendship is the most important denominator. "no matter what happens, we'll still be friends"............raises wine glass P.S. if you are unfortunately left clueless as to what or who i'm talking about, well... take heart in knowing you are not alone. you must understand how the mish mash of details is really fucking embarrassing, and i've been bloggin to let off steam rather than to invite people to turn my love life into a fucking gossip column. ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:40 AM (0) comments Monday, October 22, 2007 + so close yet so far + i feel like a fish that was just released into the sea, somehow sad becos i had so badly wanted a fish tank. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... stuck with a glimmer of hope so faint that to reach out and touch it would snuff it out where do i go from here? the wine glass is half empty ANOTHER SUITCASE IN ANOTHER HALL - OST from the opera, "Evita" I don't expect my love affairs to last for long Never fool myself that my dreams will come true Being used to trouble I anticipate it But all the same I hate it--wouldn't you? So what happens now? Another suitcase in another hall So what happens now? Take your picture off another wall Where am I going to? You'll get by, you always have before Where am I going to? Time and time again I've said that I don't care That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through But every time it matters all my words desert me So anyone can hurt me--and they do So what happens now? Another suitcase in another hall So what happens now? Take your picture off another wall Where am I going to? You'll get by you always have before Where am I going go? Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow I won't recall the names and places of each sad occasion But that's no consolation--here and now So what happens now? Another suitcase in another hall So what happens now? Take your picture off another wall Where am I going to? You'll get by, you always have before Where am I going to? Don't ask anymore ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:12 AM (0) comments Wednesday, October 17, 2007 + wishful thinking + back at the beach again. Well, not physically... guess this blog has to replace the beach in the meantime. why am i back here again? what the hell is going on? why do i rant without giving a context upon which the audience can see my frustration? its been a great couple'o'months... just few by. just like that. so much has happened since rag day that i dont know how to begin. perhaps i should be apologetic to those who actually read this blog... cos this next post will have all the artistic value of a burst balloon. yes, life's been good. and i'm just gonna get all the more random. and no im not drunk. Uniform Supper Nite at kent ridge hall A-block in a few minutes. by right i should be happy. maybe i'll get happy. maybe i'll why can't i study? why i can't i get that hall production admin work done? why am i complaining online when i actually might be able to do something more productive? well, fact of the matter is, all that work will eventually get done, but it still can't prevent me from ranting here and now. i wish i could decide if i am in a good or bad situation. i wish i could attach a value judgment, reach a conclusion, then a plan of action. i wish for many things. i wish i could go out for a drink but i have a test tml. i wish i could exit stage right, and rethink the plot. most of all, i wish i can wait... time to go... the show must go on... raises wine glass ian wong beats around the bush@ 10:05 PM (0) comments

Posts

Friday, October 26, 2007

+ Prayer +

Teach me oh Lord, to be the man You want me to be

ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:43 AM (0) comments

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

+ 180 degrees +

how the fuck did all this happen? i didnt sign up for the "turn-my-life-into-a-fucking-sitcom" scheme.
now the outcome is gonna be soooo fucking predictable....

barely 2 days... and im gonna reverse my position and run back to her. Fucking embarrassing. Yet fucking predictable.

I thought it was over. I even changed the blog music to commemorate the event.

1 conversation later, now everything is different. Brain definitely advises i get away while the going's good. But here i am left feeling grateful that i wasn't hasty. I hadn't publicized my feelings about ending everything yet.

God i love her. she doesn't love me back much. Who knows if she ever will? in a nutshell. facts on the ground remain. no guarantees. I could be setting myself up for an even bigger fall. I am stupid. There is so much more to my life than this. yet here i am.

I believe we have guardian angels. They watch over us to protect us. Right now mine must be wondering how crazy these humans are. And I always thought of myself as a rational thinker. yet when i think of how much she means to me... perhaps i can take being made a clown just this once. I've always been an entertainer.

will everything be different? how long can ian persevere b4 the fire is spent?
i'll decide tml.

Friendship is the most important denominator.

"no matter what happens, we'll still be friends"............*raises wine glass*

P.S. if you are unfortunately left clueless as to what or who i'm talking about, well... take heart in knowing you are not alone. you must understand how the mish mash of details is really fucking embarrassing, and i've been bloggin to let off steam rather than to invite people to turn my love life into a fucking gossip column.

ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:40 AM (0) comments

Monday, October 22, 2007

+ so close yet so far +

i feel like a fish that was just released into the sea, somehow sad becos i had so badly wanted a fish tank.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

stuck with a glimmer of hope so faint that to reach out and touch it would snuff it out

where do i go from here? *the wine glass is half empty*

ANOTHER SUITCASE IN ANOTHER HALL - OST from the opera, "Evita"


I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it--wouldn't you?
So what happens now?

Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me--and they do
So what happens now?

Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by you always have before
Where am I going go?

Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of each sad occasion
But that's no consolation--here and now

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?


Don't ask anymore

ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:12 AM (0) comments

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

+ wishful thinking +

back at the beach again. Well, not physically... guess this blog has to replace the beach in the meantime.

why am i back here again? what the hell is going on? why do i rant without giving a context upon which the audience can see my frustration?

its been a great couple'o'months... just few by. just like that. so much has happened since rag day that i dont know how to begin. perhaps i should be apologetic to those who actually read this blog... cos this next post will have all the artistic value of a burst balloon.
yes, life's been good. and i'm just gonna get all the more random. and no im not drunk.

Uniform Supper Nite at kent ridge hall A-block in a few minutes. by right i should be happy. maybe i'll get happy. maybe i'll

why can't i study? why i can't i get that hall production admin work done? why am i complaining online when i actually might be able to do something more productive?
well, fact of the matter is, all that work will eventually get done, but it still can't prevent me from ranting here and now.

i wish i could decide if i am in a good or bad situation. i wish i could attach a value judgment, reach a conclusion, then a plan of action. i wish for many things. i wish i could go out for a drink but i have a test tml. i wish i could exit stage right, and rethink the plot. most of all, i wish i can wait...

time to go... the show must go on... *raises wine glass*

ian wong beats around the bush@ 10:05 PM (0) comments

What we do in life, echoes in eternity