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Thursday, November 02, 2006 + we who laugh the hardest + This is not good KR Culture Night was the most fun i had in weeks. I forged new bonds with so many new friends. I became a celebrity for a night, possibly longer. So for Tues nite and Wed morn i still felt woozy from the high. We had an accomplished performance by practicing like crazy for 2 weeks plus. We had rave reviews. We did it. All we had set out to do. And i got to know so many new hall peeps. Sure, the studies suffered, but who cares?! I thought i could get back to some normalcy. Sheesh, Why d'you have to kick me when im high? Nothing bites me quite like bad luck with girls. I mean hey, if someone's at fault, its easier to draw lessons. But there's really no one to blame here except luck. and No, i aint gonna elaborate online, if ur actually concerned, ask me yourself. i try to rationalise the situation, making it akin to a bird shitting on ur head. U don't think so much, shit just happens and u brush it off. When it involves a girl, the mind just goes into philosopher-mode. FUCK. Its like a carrot on a string dangling in front of you. And just when u reach out for it, Lady Luck gives the string a good yank. If the process is repeated too often, u just dont feel like jumping for the carrot anymore. I have personal policies. 2 of which are: a) i'll never watch a movie in a cinema alone b) i'll never drink alcohol alone last night i broke (b)., hmmm...maybe half-broke. I nursed a lonely beer while the other 4th-floor guys were havin a maggi mee supper. They commented i was looking like Brian (my culture night character). Felt shitty cos i started to think so too. After they left, only the PRC guy actually asked me how i was feelin. I realised i had reached the proverbial pits. So I just drank, imagining my sorrows sliding down my throat and into my stomach. There, they get digested by my stomach acids so i can shit them out the next day. In my room around 12.40am, i call Joash. Our chat goes from my problems to his problems, from my past to his past, to the church, to the church work and the church peeps. It was an almighty bitchfest. Finished around 2.50am. Feel so "girl". Now i know why they talk on the phone so long. Its fucking theraputic. There's direction again. I can take the shit. Sometimes i wonder if my talents also lay in enduring the shit that life brings. Its a talent i least wish to exercise. Sometimes i wonder if i'll be happier if i wanted less things, desired less. Sometimes I look at those no-life study-freaks and wonder if all they need to be happy are their "A" grades. No,i am proud to be who i am. Even if it means i have to endure more shit. I have things to do, missions to fulfill, leaders to train, my own standards to meet. I thank God for who i am. I thank God i dont have to go in this alone. Other carrots are hanging around. i'll jump when im less tired. in the meantime, there are 2 essays due on Monday, the 2000-worders. People like me and Joash are rare, our outlook on life fused with our dependence on Jesus. We make a joke out of anything. We who laugh the hardest, also wonderfully adept at hiding our pain. Im also wondering how Marcus is doing, havent seen him in ages. Cheers? Give me another beer first... raises empty bottle of heineken ____________________________________________ "Jackie" - by Bossa Nostra (i hope i got the lyrics right) Umm um umm um Jackie has a thing Even if the thing is not so hot She knows right now its all shes got And she can make it swing Jackie has a past Even if shes trying to forget Between the stage lights and the sweat Oh she will blow the past away La la la la la Life is just a lonely night of cindering La la la la la Like a long lost child who's on its own again La la la la la Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain Gotta find a way to bear the strain Jackie sings her pain Umm um umm um Papa was so strong Yes he was a strong and charming man And Jackie could not understand How you feel so wrong At the Paradise Even if the pay is not so great And jackie has to work till late By night she sings her pain away La la la la la Life is just a lonely night of cindering La la la la la Like a long lost child who's on its own again La la la la la Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain Gotta find a way to bear the strain Jackie sings her pain Umm um umm um Jackie works her batch Every single song she sings is slow And when the crowd begins to go She starts from scratch La la la la la Life is just a lonely night of cindering La la la la la Like a long lost child who's on its own again La la la la la Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain Gotta find a way to bear the strain Jackie sings her pain Umm um umm um ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:54 PM Comments: Post a Comment

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

+ we who laugh the hardest +

This is not good

KR Culture Night was the most fun i had in weeks. I forged new bonds with so many new friends. I became a celebrity for a night, possibly longer. So for Tues nite and Wed morn i still felt woozy from the high. We had an accomplished performance by practicing like crazy for 2 weeks plus. We had rave reviews. We did it. All we had set out to do. And i got to know so many new hall peeps. Sure, the studies suffered, but who cares?! I thought i could get back to some normalcy. Sheesh, Why d'you have to kick me when im high?

Nothing bites me quite like bad luck with girls. I mean hey, if someone's at fault, its easier to draw lessons. But there's really no one to blame here except luck. and No, i aint gonna elaborate online, if ur actually concerned, ask me yourself.

i try to rationalise the situation, making it akin to a bird shitting on ur head. U don't think so much, shit just happens and u brush it off. When it involves a girl, the mind just goes into philosopher-mode. FUCK. Its like a carrot on a string dangling in front of you. And just when u reach out for it, Lady Luck gives the string a good yank. If the process is repeated too often, u just dont feel like jumping for the carrot anymore.

I have personal policies. 2 of which are:
a) i'll never watch a movie in a cinema alone
b) i'll never drink alcohol alone

last night i broke (b)., hmmm...maybe half-broke. I nursed a lonely beer while the other 4th-floor guys were havin a maggi mee supper. They commented i was looking like Brian (my culture night character). Felt shitty cos i started to think so too. After they left, only the PRC guy actually asked me how i was feelin. I realised i had reached the proverbial pits. So I just drank, imagining my sorrows sliding down my throat and into my stomach. There, they get digested by my stomach acids so i can shit them out the next day.

In my room around 12.40am, i call Joash. Our chat goes from my problems to his problems, from my past to his past, to the church, to the church work and the church peeps. It was an almighty bitchfest. Finished around 2.50am. Feel so "girl". Now i know why they talk on the phone so long. Its fucking theraputic. There's direction again. I can take the shit.

Sometimes i wonder if my talents also lay in enduring the shit that life brings. Its a talent i least wish to exercise. Sometimes i wonder if i'll be happier if i wanted less things, desired less. Sometimes I look at those no-life study-freaks and wonder if all they need to be happy are their "A" grades.

No,i am proud to be who i am. Even if it means i have to endure more shit. I have things to do, missions to fulfill, leaders to train, my own standards to meet. I thank God for who i am. I thank God i dont have to go in this alone. Other carrots are hanging around. i'll jump when im less tired. in the meantime, there are 2 essays due on Monday, the 2000-worders.

People like me and Joash are rare, our outlook on life fused with our dependence on Jesus. We make a joke out of anything. We who laugh the hardest, also wonderfully adept at hiding our pain.

Im also wondering how Marcus is doing, havent seen him in ages.

Cheers? Give me another beer first... *raises empty bottle of heineken*

____________________________________________

"Jackie" - by Bossa Nostra (i hope i got the lyrics right)

Umm um umm um
Jackie has a thing
Even if the thing is not so hot
She knows right now its all shes got
And she can make it swing

Jackie has a past
Even if shes trying to forget
Between the stage lights and the sweat
Oh she will blow the past away

La la la la la
Life is just a lonely night of cindering
La la la la la
Like a long lost child who's on its own again
La la la la la
Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain
Gotta find a way to bear the strain
Jackie sings her pain
Umm um umm um

Papa was so strong
Yes he was a strong and charming man
And Jackie could not understand
How you feel so wrong

At the Paradise
Even if the pay is not so great
And jackie has to work till late
By night she sings her pain away

La la la la la
Life is just a lonely night of cindering
La la la la la
Like a long lost child who's on its own again
La la la la la
Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain
Gotta find a way to bear the strain
Jackie sings her pain
Umm um umm um

Jackie works her batch
Every single song she sings is slow
And when the crowd begins to go
She starts from scratch

La la la la la
Life is just a lonely night of cindering
La la la la la
Like a long lost child who's on its own again
La la la la la
Life is just a bitter tune with sad refrain
Gotta find a way to bear the strain
Jackie sings her pain
Umm um umm um

ian wong beats around the bush@ 12:54 PM

Comments: Post a Comment

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