It was December 31^st, the last day of year 2006. Some friends and I numbering around 9 guys and 5 girls decided to bunk at a friend's place to celebrate the countdown to New Year's Day.

After the festivities, the guys gathered for torrid game of circle of death with forfeits downing vodka sprite and Sapporo beer. Our host vowed to choke-slam anyone who dared to take a puke in his house, so we predictably knocked it off early and hit the sack around 2am, sprawling ourselves across the living room in a tipsy stupor. (No one had ever seen our host in question do a choke-slam, but judging by his menacing physique, no one wanted to tempt fate either)

After waking the next day, we hobbled around the house for like half an hour before someone noticed something was amiss. Phoebe burst out laughing. The undersides of Ben's toes all had smileys! Drawn in blue marker! Then we noticed that ALL the guys had it too! I, Melvin, and Eddie the host escaped untouched. The only reason I escaped was because my feet pressed up against the DVD player all night. (I pity the next person using the DVD player)

Suddenly I became a prime suspect! (I have a long history of pranks, but you really shouldn't judge me by my background) Nobody really bought my DVD story, but the last straw was when Clement noticed a blue marker jutting out from beneath my beanbag.

So I was taupok-ed on New Year's Day. Helpless beneath a pile of bodies, Wei Xuan drew huge smileys on my feet and wrote "GUILT" across my ten toes. Literally the mark of guilt. This would have been fine with me but I WAS NOT THE CULPRIT! With my protestations of innocence till the end, they figured it had to be someone else.

So we looked at the suspect line up again.

The girls - couldn't have done it, but none were victims

Eddie - recently married, unlikely to return to childish pranks, not a victim

Joshua, Alvin - too nice, no prank history, victims

Melvin - an absolute saint, no prank history, not a victim

Wei Xuan, Clement - moderate prank history, victims

Ben, Wensley - high prank history, but very tipsy last night, victims

Judging by history of pranks, whoever did it must have even gone through the trouble of drawing smileys on his own toes. This prank definitely required the expertise of more than 1 culprit. So we checked our smileys for handwriting anomalies, and anomalies we found... on Clement.

We dragged Clement onto the beanbag and held him down for interrogations. Some of the guys pulled out leg hairs. I found a remote control which made a loud nasty smacking noise when slapped against naked flesh. After being falsely accused, I was over-zealous in finding the real culprit. I tapped it threateningly on his inner thigh. A typical interrogation went like this...

Suspect: Ah! I didn't go it!

Me: Don't struggle. You don't want me to miss and hit something else, do you?

Suspect: No no!

Me: Good... so who did it?

Suspect: I dunno! Ah!! (His leg hairs get plucked)

Me: come on! Does this remote control jog your memory? (I smack it on my palms to scare him)

Suspect: I really don't know!

Me: WRONG ANSWER!

*SMACK* (the sound of plastic meeting inner thigh, I pity the next person who wants to use the remote)

Suspect: AAAAHHH!! OK OK! I know! I know!

Me: that's not good enough, we need names!

Suspect: err... Ben did it! Ben did it!

Ben: Hey wait... I was too drunk last night to do...

All: GRAB HIM!

(We proceed on to new suspect and process repeats itself...)

We soon went through everyone who had a history in pranks. No new leads. Everyone else answered questions calmly without interrogation. Our suspicious grew wilder. Maybe the girls did it? Maybe even Melvin the saint? Or Eddie the host?

We were in the midst of planning an interrogation method that can be used on girls, when suddenly Wei Xuan says, "I have a confession to make."

So we drag Wei Xuan to the beanbag of interrogation.

Me: So who did it?

WX: I'd err... like to retract my statement...

All: WHAT?!

WX: I dunno! Ah!! (His leg hairs get plucked)

Me: Why suddenly speak up now?! Which girl are you trying to protect?! Who are you trying to protect?!

WX: I really don't know!

Me: WRONG ANSWER!

*SMACK*

Suspect: AAAAHHH!! I really, really don't know!!

We get tired of this, Wei Xuan won't crack. This prank has been simple but deadly. It made all the former pranksters turn against each other. Despite the brilliance of the prank, no one wants to claim credit. Finally we offer amnesty to anyone who confesses, mainly because we're too tired of torturing each other. Lo and behold, Wei Xuan confesses again.

Wei Xuan was in cahoots with Clement. After drawing on us at night, Clement attempted to draw on his own feet but it was untidy. So they drew on each other's feet. That explained the handwriting change. Phoebe woke up and saw them doing it, but chose to keep quiet. Wei Xuan said he was "this close" to cracking, but was more scared of either Clement or Phoebe confessing first. Clement stuck the marker beneath my beanbag because he couldn't draw on my feet.

Truly a prank to remember! On the first day of the year 2007!
Cheers! *raises a glass of Sapporo*